How My Girlfriend Died and Became My Muse
by SilentStormSociety
Summary: The one where Anya's dead girlfriend shows up on her doorstep looking alive and well with no memory of their time together, claiming to be her Muse.
1. Chapter 1

**Story warnings: Lots of smut, F/F/F, drinking, mention of drugs, car crash, Ranya**

* * *

Anya groaned as the afternoon sun poured through the living room blinds and stung sensitive eyes behind closed lids.

The blonde stretched her arms out high overhead as an empty liquor bottle rolled off her chest and crashed on the carpet with a soft thud.

Her head pounded with the familiar ache brought on by an all-night drinking bender. Heavy lids proved difficult to open, eyes uncooperative as she tried to check the wall clock for the time.

Anya had maintained living in a drunken slumber for the past few months. She kept the blinds drawn, the lawn unmowed, and the fridge filled with bottles and bottles of beer.

Except for the odd trip to the liquor store, Anya rarely left the house. She barely ate, and when she did, it was always delivered by some geeky kid with their whole life ahead of them. Unlike Anya, who didn't have anything or anyone left to live for. Not anymore anyways.

Six months earlier, Anya had everything she'd ever wanted. She'd moved into a brand new house near the ocean with her beautiful, witty, quirky girlfriend Raven Reyes whom Anya was madly in love with and planned to marry.

Anya reached for the black velvet ring box on the coffee table and flipped it open for the millionth time. She'd stared at that ring an equal number of times wondering what could have been. _How happy_ they would have been. How happy Anya should have been at that moment.

But instead, the night Anya had planned to propose, was the night some asshole tweaked out of their mind on meth decided to run a red light and crash into Raven's car.

Anya had waited hours for Raven to show at their favourite restaurant, _Polis_. An upscale establishment that wasn't cheap and the couple only went to on special occasions.

Anya had wanted to celebrate Raven's promotion to becoming a full-fledged space engineer with Arkadia Corp. Her internship had finished and she'd been offered a job immediately after. It was a big deal, and the perfect excuse for Anya to finally pop the question after three years of being with the woman.

She would have asked sooner, wanted to ask sooner, but both had gotten so wrapped in their career paths. Anya became an author of over twenty lesbian erotica novels while Raven climbed the ladder to her own dream job.

She couldn't help but blame herself for the car crash. It was Anya's idea, after all, Anya's timing and suggestion to ask Raven to their favourite restaurant on that night.

And being the impatient woman she was, Anya had insisted Raven drive to the restaurant straight from her doctor's appointment instead of going home first to meet then leave together.

Tears leaked from the corners of the blonde's eyes as she stared at the diamond engagement ring another moment before snapping the lid shut and tossing it back onto the table. Wiping the tears away, Anya sat up and looked around the room.

Beer bottles littered the floor, Raven's red sweater lay carelessly over the La-Z-Boy chair facing the large flat screen television. It was Raven's favourite seat when she wasn't fondling or snuggling with Anya on the couch.

Anya rose unsteadily from the sofa, kicking bottles aside with bare feet as she crossed the room to Raven's chair and picked up the thin coat.

She pressed her face into the softness of it and inhaled deeply; Raven's scent had long since faded from the garment, but Anya always hoped it would come back. Always hoped she'd wake from her nightmare and Raven would walk through the front door with that goofy smirk on her face while laughing she'd forgotten her sweater again.

Raven was always doing that, forgetting things and coming back home to retrieve them, each time never forgetting to press another kiss to Anya's lips no matter how busy the blonde might had been with her writing.

Anya returned the sweater to its rightful place on the back of the chair just where Raven had left it the last day she was alive. Anya let out a breath and rubbed her head as she headed toward the kitchen for a bottle of water and some Tylenol.

The wood creaked with every step in the hallway as she turned into the kitchen and flicked on the light. Squinting against the fluorescents, Anya opened the fridge to come face to face with nothing but beer and a carton of old chinese take-out.

In all those months, she hadn't once gone to the store. Sighing, she slammed the fridge shut and instead headed for the kitchen tap grabbing two pills from behind the sink and shoving them in her mouth while dipping her head under the faucet.

Anya turned and leaned against the counter as she waited for her head to stop throbbing. Her gaze fell to a stack of bills on the center island with the horrid dark red _Past Due_ stamp marked upon each one.

Anya hadn't been able to work since the night of the accident. No matter how many times she sat at her desk and stared at the blank doc in front of her was she able to string even two sentences together.

She was broken. Without Raven, she could barely function. Anya spent her days with her face buried in her hands, unable to write, socialize or do anything a normal living person would do. She was depressed beyond measure.

The only comfort she could find was in holding the garments of a dead girl, staring at photos of a past life, or finding temporary respite in the bottom of a bottle.

Shaking her head and groaning, Anya headed for her office. She really needed to write. She was living off savings, and it was dwindling quick. She had a deadline, and her publisher had been generous with giving her an extension but it was the final straw, and Anya knew it.

Once she was seated behind her desk and booted up the laptop, Anya stared at the desktop background of her computer screen. It was a picture of her and Raven, the brunette's arms laced lovingly around a smiling Anya's neck while Raven kissed the blonde's cheek but still managed to maintain eye contact with the camera.

Anya zoned in on those beautiful chocolate orbs that belonged to the woman she once loved. Being so irrevocably happy seemed such a distant memory now.

Eyes burning with fresh tears, Anya slammed the laptop shut and shot up from the desk chair, storming back toward the kitchen and snatching another beer from the fridge.

She was on the couch just about to uncap the bottle when a knock came at the front door. Anya stopped what she was doing and looked up. It was rare she got visitors, and Anya hadn't ordered any food.

Uncaring but still curious, Anya set the beer down and headed for the door.

"This better be good," Anya muttered under her breath as she reached for the handle.

After swinging the door open, Anya found herself face to face with the impossible; outside standing on the terrace looking alive and well, was the one and only, late Raven Reyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Anya froze, shocked and paralyzed in place as she stared at a woman she knew to be dead. Six months dead to be exact.

But there on the concrete patio stood Raven Reyes with that goofy grin, looking as beautiful as ever with handfuls of what looked like grocery bags.

"You gonna give me a hand or stand there gawking all day?"

Anya remained dumbfounded and unmoving, she couldn't react, couldn't speak at all. Disbelief kept her anchored in place.

She had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation. Either that or Anya had finally cracked.

How could her dead girlfriend be standing just two feet away? How could her voice sound as smooth and lively as ever?

Raven rolled her eyes before pushing past Anya in the doorway and shoving a bag of food into the blonde's arms. Anya clutched the items to her chest as she watched Raven walk through the hall and toward the kitchen as if it were a day like any other.

Anya couldn't help her gaze fall to the perfect curvature of Raven's ass as she rounded the corner. It took her several blinks before she snapped back to reality, closed the door, and hurried to the kitchen.

After setting the bags on the counter, she watched as Raven unloaded them and placed food around the kitchen with ease. The brunette definitely knew her way around. Why was she acting like nothing had happened? What was going on?

Groceries away, Raven picked up the stack of overdue bills on the counter and tsk-tsk'd as she flipped through them.

"Looks like I arrived just in time. We better get you back on track. You need that book deal."

Anya's brows furrowed as her mouth hung open. How could Raven possibly know about her deadline?

"Raven?" Anya croaked, not recognizing her own voice.

Beautiful chocolate swirls connected with honeyed-hazels, and suddenly, the unfamiliar sensation of warmth and safety and life flooded Anya's entire being. When she looked in those dark eyes of verve, she finally remembered what _home_ felt like.

"Heeeeey," Raven cried happily. "How do you know my name?"

Anya cocked her head at the other girl. Of course, Anya knew Raven's name! She'd been in love with the woman for years. The blonde's heart sped impossibly faster as a thought occurred to her. Did Raven remember nothing of their time together?

Anya opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She stiffened when Raven circled the island and stopped just a few inches away, leaning back against the counter on her elbows.

"You okay, blondie? You look like you've seen a ghost. It's Anya, right?"

Anya nodded, still at a loss for words. Still skeptical over the whole situation of Raven standing in her kitchen right then and only half convinced she hadn't, in fact, gone crazy.

"I should probably introduce myself since I barged into your house. Sorry by the way. I'm still new at this. You're my first client." Raven grabbed the back of her head with both hands and groaned as she smiled that goofy smile Anya had missed. "Let me start over. I'm Raven Reyes, your muse! I'm going to help you write that book that's been eluding you."

"My… muse?" Anya was incredibly confused.

"Yep. And in addition to my muse duties, I'm here to take care of everything so you can focus on your project. I'll take care of the housework, the cooking, you name it. You won't have to worry about a thing.

A smile tugged the corners of Anya's lips at the mention of cooking and housework. Anya's Raven could barely boil water despite having a degree in space engineering. Anything Raven had tried to make in the past had resulted in complete disaster, and the girls would always opt for take-out afterward. And don't even get her started on the toxicity of Raven and housework.

"I'll fix you a snack right now!" Raven said excitedly. "You're going to need energy so we can make love."

Anya's mouth fell open again as she gawked at the brunette. Raven clearly didn't remember Anya, so why were they about to make love?

"How about toast? I'm great at toast!" Raven laughed at Anya's still shocked expression as she turned toward the toaster. Raven spun back around just as quickly before leaning in close and lowering her tone. "Okay, look, Here's the thing. Like I said before, you're my first client so I _might_ be new to this whole cooking thing too."

Anya smiled, suppressing a laugh as a single tear of joy escaped her eye. "I'm sure you'll do fine. Toast is simple enough."

"Exactly!" Raven said clasping her hands together. "And I got your favorite jam, strawberry!"

Anya watched as Raven pulled plates from cupboards and grabbed the ingredients needed. As she watched the brunette work, her mind began to wander.

What was that about making love? Anya's brain went into overload. Within seconds, her life had turned upside down (again) with the appearance of her dead girlfriend showing up on her doorstep.

Not that she was ungrateful, but the possibility of having sex again with Raven so soon made Anya uncharacteristically nervous. For months, she had yearned to be near the cute, lovable, witty engineer again.

And now was her chance; to be with the one and only, Raven Reyes, the woman Anya was _still_ madly in love with and whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life. And although she'd been given a second chance, it would be different.

Raven didn't remember Anya. So surely the sex would be different would it not? How could they make love if _love_ only came from one party?

"We don't have to make love of course," Raven said suddenly, breaking Anya's line of thought. "We could just fuck if that makes you more comfortable. Either way, your _creative_ needs to get laid."


	3. Chapter 3

Still in disbelief over the situation, Anya grew self-conscious when she suddenly remembered the state she'd kept her body in during the last few months. She'd been in a depressed drunken stupor and it had been awhile since she'd shaved… anything.

Raven glanced over her shoulder with a smirk. "You want some time to get ready? Go ahead and shower. Food will be ready by the time you get back."

Anya couldn't help but wonder if Raven could read her mind, she didn't dwell on the thought long before nodding her head and racing upstairs to the bathroom.

Although anxious to make herself presentable for Raven, it was with great reluctance Anya left that kitchen. She didn't want Raven to disappear just in case she was dreaming, or even hallucinating for that matter in which case Anya desperately wanted the vision to last forever.

Forty-five minutes later, Anya was back downstairs freshly shaved, washed and sporting a fresh tank top and sweatpants free of beer stains. She smiled when she found Raven still fussing away in the kitchen.

Raven patted the counter beside a barstool for Anya to sit before serving the blonde a plate of two pieces of jam splattered toast as promised.

Anya smiled as she gazed down at the messy plate. It looked as though the bread got in a fight with the jelly at some point while it had still been inside the toaster. Anya's eyes fell to the counter behind Raven where preparation took place.

Bread and jam and butter knives littered the countertop, more jam clung to multiple surfaces including the side of the toaster, a cabinet, even a wall causing Anya to laugh under her breath.

Raven followed the blonde's gaze to the deed. "Ohhhh, riiight. Don't worry, I'll clean that up later."

Anya chuckled again before lifting a piece of toast to her mouth and taking a bite. It was burnt beneath the mountain of jam but still the most delicious thing Anya had eaten in months. And because it was Raven who made it, she savored every last bite.

The brunette smiled as she traded Anya's plate for a glass of milk and napkin. Anya wasted no time downing the glass and wiping her face. When she finished, Raven was standing incredibly close, soft caramel fingers gently gliding up and down Anya's bare shoulder with a mischievous grin in place.

"Now, what do you say we get you into bed?"

Raven wasted no time leading Anya up the stairs with a firm grip on her hand. She still couldn't believe this was happening. Even as Raven kicked the door shut behind them, stripped off her red tank top and stood wanting and vulnerable before Anya's eyes.

Anya's hands trembled as she stepped closer, fingers coming to rest on the brunette's smooth curvature of her hips. Taking her time as she slowly closed the distance between them and grateful Raven allowed her to do so.

Anya needed to go slow. Needed the extra moments to inhale the unique scent of pine and metal that could only belong to Raven. The same fragrance that had long since faded from the red sweater still draped over the large La-Z-Boy chair in the living room downstairs.

Anya pressed a firm, heartfelt kiss to the base of Raven's neck as she held the brunette close. The skin there warm, soft, and smooth as ever. She continued to kiss a trail up that gorgeous caramel heaven until finally, their lips met in a passionate tangle.

Raven released a soft moan which Anya swallowed all too happily. Feeling Raven's hands come to rest on either side of Anya's face made everything feel right in the world again. It was a dream come true.

Once Anya was sure Raven was real again, her hunger for the brunette's flesh grew, burning wildly and flaring to life inside her chest. Anya kissed back hungrier than ever, inserting an assertive tongue into the mix and pressing their bodies closer together.

Agile fingers followed the hem of Raven's jeans to the front, quickly unfastening the button and pulling down the zipper. Raven moaned again as Anya slipped inside, rubbing the brunette's already soaking panties from the outside.

They broke for air as Anya's strokes grew firmer, Raven's panting in the blonde's ear sent a fresh flood between her own legs.

Anya used her other hand to unhook Raven's bra from behind with a well-practiced finger snap motion. As the garment fell away, Anya immediately latched up one of the taut nubs between desperate lips.

"Fuck, Anya! Yes!"

Anya smiled as she caught the hardened nub between her teeth and rolled it with her tongue. She released it with a lascivious _pop_ before kissing her way lower and around Raven's belly button, stopping only to remove the brunette's cumbersome jeans.

Anya took her time slipping each legging down and over a foot as Raven used the break to catch her breath. Now on her knees, Anya looked at the last garment of clothing keeping her from her prize. She smiled up at Raven as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to the wet spot on Raven's underwear.

Raven returned the smile as she cradled the back of Anya's head and lightly bucked her hips against the blonde's mouth. Their hands met at the hem of Raven's black lace underwear and together pulled them off.

Anya pressed on Raven's thighs lightly, urging Raven back on the bed while the blonde stay on her knees. Raven did so obediently. Legs falling open to reveal the glistening prize Anya sought.

Anya swallowed hard and licked her lips as her heart sped up. She was half paralyzed in awe of how beautiful Raven was.

"Lick me," Raven whined, clearly growing impatient with the blonde's ogling.

The brunette quickly slipped two fingers between lower lips, holding herself open and exposing all her glory for Anya to take advantage of.

Anya didn't waste another second before diving in face first and enveloping Raven's engorged clit with her mouth. She explored every crevice that was Raven with her tongue, everywhere but the sensitive bud where she knew Raven wanted her most.

She licked inside and outside those soft lower lips, circled Raven's entrance and back up again driving the brunette wild. As Raven's need grew, so did Anya's, the throbbing between her legs becoming torturous but she couldn't stop.

Only when Raven's hips jolted erratically and she cried out did Anya give in and suck the sensitive bean without mercy. Flicking her tongue expertly as Raven pressed the back of the blonde's head firmly and humped Anya's face to oblivion and back.

After Raven's jerky, thunderous bucks came to a halt, Anya climbed her partner's body and collapsed beside her on the bed.

"Ohhh, no," Raven said breathlessly. "We aren't anywhere near finished yet. It's your turn."

Catching Anya completely off guard, Raven rolled overtop her partner only to reverse their positions again, so the blonde was on top. Raven spread her legs wide, lining up her mound with Anya's and thrusting into her, eliciting the perfect pressure on her clit.

Anya was already so aroused, so sensitive, she groaned at first contact. As Raven's hands quickly slipped over the ridge of Anya's sweatpants and yanked them down. Anya helped her along, slipping her panties off as well.

As Anya began to grind, Raven continued to strip Anya of her white tank top allowing her much larger breasts to burst free. Raven easily caught one of the hardened tits in her mouth, eliciting another hearty moan from Anya.

All the stimulation was incredible. It had been six months since she'd last had sex. In fact, Raven was still the last person she made love with.

Anya rode hard, one hand coming to rest on Raven's shoulder and pushing her back on the bed. Their eyes locked amid the passionate activity and Anya desperately had the urge to tell Raven how much she loved her, but didn't want to scare her away so soon.

Instead, she said, "You're so fucking beautiful."

Raven smiled and pushed her hips higher, increasing Anya's pleasure as her own hips began to shake with the familiar rush of an oncoming orgasm.

She caught Raven's mouth and moaned into her lover as she came hard. Refusing to detach her lips from Raven's until she'd milked herself of every last jolt of pleasure.

Anya slid from Raven's hips and spooned her from the side, slipping an arm over her lover's waist and pulling her close with a kiss to the brunette's neck.

Raven was still warm and real and alive. Which was something of a miracle compared to the cold, pale, corpse Anya was called down to identify at the city morgue six months earlier.

But Raven was very much alive. She smelled the same, spoke with identical mannerisms, demonstrated the same cooking ability as before and even made love with that level of energy and stamina only unique to Raven.

Everything familiar. Everything impossible.

Anya just hoped it would last.


	4. Chapter 4

Anya woke alone and instantly fell into a state of panic. The empty space beside her was cool to the touch. Had it all been a dream after all? Then why was she naked? Or did she just get far drunker than she'd ever been and hallucinated?

Anya looked around the room, eyes frantically searching but there was no sign of Raven. The brunette's clothes had also disappeared from the floor leaving Anya's sweats and tank top all alone.

She buried her face into the pillow and let the overwhelming sensation of foolishness envelop her. How could she have been so stupid to think her dead girlfriend magically appeared on her doorstep with groceries then proceeded to fuck her perfectly to sleep!?

Turning onto her back, Anya groaned as she grabbed her head and refused the tears threatening to fall. The dream had been so vivid; blissful, confusing, but wonderful. If Anya really was experiencing such strong hallucinations though, it might be time she sought professional help.

She snickered at herself and shook her head. It was unlikely she'd experience anything like that again. She was fine.

Just before rolling back onto her side and returning to sleep, Anya froze at the sound of a crash coming from downstairs. She stiffened, listening hard. Had she imagined it?

Sure enough, the sound came again. It sounded like someone was moving around the kitchen. Was it Raven? Or was she being robbed?

Anya quickly scrambled from the bed and grabbed her clothes from the floor, dressing in record time as she tiptoed to the top of the staircase and peeked over the railing.

The kitchen light was on, and a shadow moved back and forth past the doorway now and then, but she couldn't see who it was. The sound of pots and dishes continued to clank together as Anya descended the staircase as quietly as she could.

Her heart thudded, and she was sure the intruder would hear it and catch her at any second. Once the blonde reached the bottom of the stairs, she continued to creep her way down the hallway unblinkingly. She gasped as a familiar head of chestnut poked its face around the doorway to the kitchen, eyes wide and excited.

"There you are! I thought you'd never get up! You slept all day! Come on in; I made dinner."

Anya's jaw fell open, dumbfounded. Raven was still here. Anya wasn't hallucinating after all. Either that or she really was crazy. Not wanting to miss a second, She hurried into the kitchen to find Raven pulling a tray of fried chicken from the oven.

Only then did Anya notice the warm aroma of food hovering in the air. It smelled wonderful. Anya was surprised such pleasant fumes could come from a kitchen Raven was in.

Overwhelmed and relieved Raven hadn't vanished, Anya rushed behind the brunette as she started to whisk a pot of mashed potatoes. Anya's slim, toned arms encircled Raven's waist and hugged her close causing the woman to giggle.

She kissed the brunette's neck, and suddenly it was like Raven never left. It was just like things before. Passionate and casual. Anya felt safe. She felt home.

"Hope you're hungry. I've been slaving allll day. _Really_!"

There was something odd about how Raven said that last part. Narrowing her gaze, Anya examined the pot of potatoes and took the whisk from Raven's hand and licked the instrument. She furrowed her brows as she looked at the chicken on the stove then back at Raven with a sneaking suspicion.

"Raven?"

Raven turned in Anya's arms and shot the blonde a look of innocence, but Anya wasn't buying it. "Uhhh, yeah?"

"Did you just go to KFC and put the food in pots?"

Raven's lids flew wide as her cheeks turned a deep cherry color. Anya failed to suppress a laugh as Raven looked in every direction but at the blonde. It was the hardest Anya had laughed in six months and so hearty that tears streamed from her eyes.

Smirking, Raven crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "You just _had_ to steal my thunder, didn't you? Do I at least get points for trying?"

Anya laughed again and pressed a kiss to Raven's forehead. "I appreciate the effort. Really."

Raven's blush continued to rage; whether it was from pretending to cook, being caught, or just embarrassed, Anya couldn't tell.

"I really _did_ try to make you fried chicken, honest! But uhhh, it didn't work out exactly and… there was this fire..."

It was Anya's turn to bulge her eyes out. "What!?"

"It's okay!" Raven said quickly throwing her hands up. "Nothing burnt down as you can see don't worry. I'm glad you're such a heavy sleeper though."

Shaking her head, Anya pressed another kiss to Raven's forehead before taking a seat at the kitchen counter.

A few minutes later, the girls sat side by side on the kitchen barstools eating their KFC bought dinner. Raven spoke of her elaborate plan to woo Anya into thinking she was a great chef but figured Anya would be too clever for her scheme. She even admitted to stealing Anya's car keys to commit the deed.

Anya just laughed, finding the whole situation amusing. The conversation went on with ease, and Anya was able to relax as Raven would giggle and casually touch Anya's arm while they talked.

They spoke about writing and Anya's deadline at the end of the month and how the blonde's writer's block had been driving Raven crazy for the past few weeks.

It was still odd that Raven didn't seem to know she had died. Odd she didn't remember Anya at all or know that she was responsible for Anya's writer's block in the first place.

"Well I'm here now and I have a plan to help you write that book. Don't worry, we got this, Anya."

Anya smiled and rested her chin on her hand as she gazed back into Raven's confident eyes.

"So, anyway…" Raven started. "Today was just to help you unwind and relax. Recharge your batteries. Tomorrow, you start writing again!"

Anya sat back and sighed while reaching for the can of diet coke Raven brought for her. "I don't know, Rae. It really hasn't been happening. I'm not sure that spark's even inside me anymore."

Raven leaned in closer with a slick smile. "Trust me, if it wasn't, I wouldn't be here. I'm your muse, remember? I'm going to help draw that spark back out of you. With me here, this project's gonna be a breeze. You'll see. But don't think about that now. Tonight is still your night to relax. Maybe a hot bath; definitely more fucking, you really seem to like that. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy sleeping with you. We can even go out tonight if you want."

Anya smiled as she received a small boost to her ego that Raven enjoyed the sex between them. "A night in with _you_ sounds perfect."

"Great!" Raven said as she rose from the table and cleared their plates. "Why don't you go run a bath for us and I'll join you when I'm done cleaning up?"

"I can help yo—"

But Anya was quickly silenced with a finger pressed firmly to her lips as Raven leaned in to whisper, "My job now, remember?"

With a smile and a shrug, Anya nodded before heading upstairs.


	5. Chapter 5

Anya laid back in the tub, gradually submerging herself in the incredibly warm liquid. She let out a long relaxing breath as her skin slowly acclimated to the high temperature.

Closing her eyes, she allowed the crazy events of the day to settle over her. Raven was definitely _real_. Definitely the same Raven she had known and loved for the past three years.

But then came the big question, should Anya tell Raven of their time together? How do you explain to someone they died, and you're the heartbroken lover they left behind?

She didn't want to risk scaring Raven away but desperately wished for her to remember. A cloud of guilt still hung over Anya, feeling as though she played a part in Raven's death that night.

Why did she have to choose that night of all nights to propose? Any other day and Raven would have never gotten hit by that damn lunatic behind the wheel. Had Anya not waited so damn long and asked Raven the first year into their relationship, maybe they could've evaded the entire disaster.

Then there was the question of what exactly _was_ Raven?

Anya had seen the burned, deformed remains of Raven's body; attended the funeral afterward. And was beyond certain of Raven being completely and utterly dead. She even stayed behind to watch the coffin being lowered into the earth.

So was she a ghost? A reincarnation of something supernatural? Raven had said she was Anya's _Muse_. What did that even mean?

Breaking Anya from her thoughts, a light knock came at the bathroom door before swinging open, bringing with it a cold rush of air.

Raven walked in looking happy as ever. "Hey, you. Miss me?"

Anya smiled gleefully and nodded while crooking a wet finger toward Raven who knelt beside the tub and pressed their lips together.

"Get in here," Anya ordered with a smirk.

"Your wish is my command, baby."

Raven quickly stripped her clothes off and stepped into the tub, lowering herself between Anya's open legs and leaning back against the blonde's chest. Anya wondered if Raven had any idea how many times they'd sat like this before. Raven's place always in front of Anya when they bathed together.

"So, you're a genie now?" Anya laughed.

"Sorry, just a muse. But for tonight at least, I'll obey your every wish."

"Oh yeah?" Anya smiled wickedly as she ran her hand between Raven's breasts and lower beneath the water. She didn't stop until skilled fingers found Raven's clit, then slowly rubbed soft, firm circles.

"Mmmmm, your touch always feels so damn good, Anya."

Of course it did. Anya had a lot of practice. She knew Raven's body better than she knew her own.

"Come for me," Anya whispered in the brunette's ear.

Anya kissed at her lover's neck as Raven started to arch her back and slink closer against the blonde's body. A breathy moan followed, inspiring Anya to increase the speed of her ministrations.

"Ah, fuck yes," Raven moaned again.

Next, came a caramel hand resting overtop Anya's and pushing her further down, silently indicating for Anya to go inside. The position was awkward since Anya was behind Raven, but if her lover wanted to get fingered, then that's what Anya would do.

It was a tight maneuver, but she managed to flip their positions so Raven had her back against the end of the tub, legs open. Anya slipped another finger into Raven's entrance beneath the water and pumped with enthusiasm.

"Mmmmm, I love it when you touch me," Raven breathed, her arms circling around Anya's neck to hold herself steady. "It's good every time. I wasn't sure what to expect, you being my first client and all. You're setting the bar high, baby."

Anya chuckled as she crashed their lips together and increased speed, slipping a thumb over Raven's clit and setting a pace the brunette could ride.

Raven panted hard once they broke the kiss for air, Anya didn't relent her ministrations for a second. She kept rhythm with Raven's bucks and nibbled at the brunette's ear causing her to laugh while simultaneously screaming out her orgasm.

Both breathing heavily, Anya met Raven for another hearty kiss, slipping her tongue inside. Raven's breaths were so warm, Anya eagerly swallowed each one she was awarded causing Raven to moan one final time with a long, "Woooow." And it was the hottest thing Anya ever heard.

They stared at each other, glossy eyed and delirious for one long alluring moment before Raven smiled and said, "Should we continue this back in your room?"


	6. Chapter 6

This time when Anya woke, she wasn't alone. Raven was safely tucked into her side sleeping soundly and still naked from last night's activities.

Anya smiled and relaxed against the pillows as she reminisced over the wondrous evening she'd shared with Raven. Her clit vibrated as she recalled Raven's skilled tongue flicking against her most sensitive parts repeatedly without mercy.

Turning over, Anya watched Raven's lids flutter as she slept. She desperately wanted to wake the sleeping beauty and tell Raven how much she loved and had missed her all those months.

But she hadn't figured out how to tell the brunette just yet, so decided to let the illusion play out a little longer.

Anya pressed a light kiss to Raven's forehead causing her to wake and smile. The blonde immediately took that as an invitation to slip over top Raven into a straddle.

But when Anya moved her lips toward Raven's, she was halted with a single soft index finger to her mouth.

"Nope, no more affection for you I'm afraid."

Anya visibly deflated and cocked her head at the other girl who laughed at the blonde's expression.

"Give me five thousand words today, and I'll do whatever you want tonight." Raven's smile to follow was a lascivious one.

Anya groaned as she collapsed beside Raven again. She couldn't work! She wanted to spend her every waking moment worshipping the beautiful brunette to have walked back into her life!

Raven laughed as she extracted herself from Anya and rose from the bed. "I'll make breakfast."

Anya groaned again as she silently prayed to any unknown forces that might be listening that Raven wouldn't start a fire and burn the house down.

"Relax, I can handle cereal," Raven said laughing, once again making Anya wonder if she could, in fact, read her thoughts. "After breakfast though it's straight to work for you."

Anya sat up as realization finally dawned on her. "Wait, so you're offering sex in exchange for word quotas?"

"Good plan, right?" Raven asked with a cheesy grin as she helped herself to Anya's dresser and pulled on a fresh pair of underwear and bra. "Feeling inspired yet?"

Anya settled back against the headboard and stared straight ahead into nothingness a moment. Something felt incredibly off about the situation. Sex for word quotas.

Had she not been in love with Raven, perhaps it would have seemed a dream come true kind of deal. A beautiful woman showing up on your doorstep one day with bags of food, then offering mind-blowing sex in exchange for doing your job. It was indeed a good deal.

But Anya _was_ in love with Raven, passionately so.

Suddenly, an unpleasant hollowness ballooned inside Anya's chest. That same empty void to have plagued her for the past six months. A hole born on the night of Raven's death. The night Anya lost not only the woman she loved, but the woman who loved her back.

The sex the day before had been great, earth-shattering even. But it only just dawned on Anya that it was just that, sex. It should have been obvious. But now that the brunette stared Anya in the face, it was obvious Raven didn't love Anya. Not even a little. Raven didn't know her.

To Raven, they were just two women fucking each other to get off, when for Anya, it was anything but. Raven had said Anya was a _client_. Not a girlfriend. Not a life partner. A _client_. There was no romantic relationship between them. Raven had no clue how strongly Anya felt about her.

Anya watched Raven continue to dress as she helped herself to a pair of Anya's jeans and a white tank top.

"Hey, you got a belt for these?"

Anya couldn't suppress the smile that tugged at her lips as she pointed toward the closet. Her pants were a few sizes too big for the petite brunette. Raven did look so cute in the oversized clothes though.

"Hey, Rae?" Anya started as she gathered the courage to ask the next question to come to mind.

"Yeah, babe?" Raven called from inside the closet.

"What happens if I finish this project? Will you stick around?"

Raven walked out of the closet while still tightening the belt around her waist. "Trust me, by the end of this project, you'll be ready to let me go."

Anya cast her gaze to the floor and shook her head. "I don't want you to go, ever." Her tone was so low she was surprised Raven even heard the whisper.

Anya felt a dip in the bed beside her and faced Raven with tears in her eyes.

"Oh heeey," Raven cooed. "Look, I'm not leaving for a while yet, okay? But the way this works is that you'll be ready for me to leave by the end. If I do my job right anyway."

Raven winked at the end, sending a shred of hope through Anya's senses. Wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes, Anya forced a smile and squeezed Raven's hand.

Concern pervaded the chocolate orbs staring at the blonde and the next thing Anya knew, Raven's lips were on hers. It was the gentlest, most affectionate kiss they'd shared since Raven's spontaneous arrival.

When they finally broke apart, Raven's lids were still closed as she sucked her lips back over her teeth and licked them with a, "Mmmm."

"Thank you," Anya whispered.

Raven smiled and rolled her eyes, the goofy grin back in play. "Don't expect me to go breaking the rules for you again. Five thousand words, missy. And hurry up. I'm fucking horny."

Raven winked again before leaving the room and clambering down the staircase with heavy footsteps.

Anya threw the blankets off and swung her legs over the side of the bed, burying her head in her hands as she sorted her thoughts.

She had learned two things; one, Raven would eventually leave. But no way was Anya going to let that happen. And two, if that last kiss was anything to go by, Raven _did_ feel something for Anya. Which meant there was a sliver of hope that Anya could win Raven back.

She had to figure out a plan of how to do that exactly. Should she start over with a series of romantic gestures and win her back the old fashion way? Or commit to finding a delicate way of telling Raven everything that's happened between them and risk scaring her off for good?

Anya wasn't going to get anywhere though if she couldn't write a novel by the deadline. How could she possibly think in her current frame of mind? She needed a plan.

Suddenly, an idea began to form. One that could solve both dilemmas. Quickly, Anya scrambled from the bed and dressed as quickly as she could before rushing downstairs to her home office.

She knew what she was going to write. Knew what her project was going to be and knew just how she was going to explain everything to Raven that's happened in full detail.

Perhaps reading the truth would spark Raven's memories back to life? Or maybe they were just irretrievable. Either way, Anya had been given a second chance, and there was no way she was about to waste it.

Sitting at the large oak desk in front of her laptop, Anya opened a desk drawer and reached for a pair of thick black-rimmed writing glasses she hadn't familiarized herself with in quite some time. Slipping them on quickly, she opened the laptop and brought up a blank word document to start her new project outline.

At the top of the page where she always wrote the title, she typed, _How My Girlfriend Died and Became My Muse._


	7. Chapter 7

Anya wrote nonstop through the first few hours of the morning. She didn't even notice Raven had slipped in at some point and left a plate of crackers and peanut butter on her desk, a cold glass of ice water as well. She devoured the snack quickly if only to quiet the interruption of her stomach so she could continue writing.

She would start at the beginning when she and Raven first met at Trikru University. Raven was studying space mechanics while Anya worked toward a degree in writing. They were on opposite sides of the spectrum academically but hit it off right from the get-go.

Anya had found herself infatuated with the mechanic-to-be at first sight. Their first date had turned into a sleepover which turned into another sleepover and another until they just jumped into the honeymoon period head first.

They became inseparable. Every moment they had to spare was spent together. It went on like that for the duration of their relationship. A full three years and they were still on fire for each other, right up until that gruesome night.

When Anya glanced at the computer clock, it was noon. She groaned as she stretched back against her chair and checked her word count. _3783_.

She grumbled as she stared at the number again. It was an outline. Raven wouldn't count it. Everyone knew you couldn't count outlines or notes as part of a word quota.

Just then, a knock came at the door, and Raven poked her head inside. "Okay if I interrupt?"

Anya smiled and nodded, happy to take a break for Raven's company.

The brunette sauntered over and sat on Anya's lap, arms wrapping around the blonde's neck as she asked, "How's it going?"

Anya's smile quickly faded. "Well, I have a pretty lengthy outline started. But no words I can count yet."

Raven crossed her arms but remained in Anya's lap. "Hmmm." She lifted a brow as if deep in thought. "At least you conquered the blank page, and that's definitely something! I think you've earned a break."

"Oh? What kind of break?" Anya asked, waggling her brows suggestively.

Raven laughed. "Not that kind, you jack rabbit. Not _yet_ anyway," she added with a wink. "I meant a lunch break. I was thinking we could go out. Get you some fresh air and actually cooked food."

Anya leaned back in her chair with a tight-lipped smile, hands holding onto Raven's waist as she did so. "Lunch and fresh air sound great. Let me change before we go."

OoOoO

Twenty minutes later, Raven and Anya walked into popular local diner, _Grounder's Grub_. It was one of the first places they'd gone on an actual date.

The restaurant was packed and bustled with customers. Couples chatting happily, families talking loudly, and servers rushing from table to table with large trays of food.

Anya spotted a booth at the back of the diner and quickly snatched Raven's hand, leading her through the crowd and noise to thankfully a slightly quieter and more private setting.

They sat across from each other. Just a few spare booths around them sat empty except for one with a lone patron sipping a cup of coffee.

It wasn't long before a waitress appeared with two menus and asked for their drink orders. Disappearing just as quickly as she arrived.

Seeing Raven interact with another person in the outside world put Anya at ease in the fact she wasn't crazy after all. Raven was as real as she seemed. Others could see her, interact with her, it was like the crash never happened.

"What can I get for you today, hunnies?" the waitress asked turning toward Raven first.

Raven stared at the menu. "I'll have—"

"Cheeseburger and curly fries," Anya and Raven said in unison.

The waitress chuckled while shocked chocolate swirls stared at Anya from across the table.

"I'll have the same," Anya answered quickly before taking a sip of her soda.

Once they were alone again, an air of awkwardness hung between them. Raven continued to watch Anya unblinkingly, looking deep in thought as if trying to figure out how Anya knew what she wanted.

"How did you—" but Raven didn't finish the sentence.

Anya wasn't sure what to say. Thinking quickly, she said, "I just…feel reeeally close to you I guess."

Raven sat back against the booth arms crossed, gaping at Anya as if still trying to figure her out.

When the food finally came, with it returned Raven's witty humor as she stuffed her face. It was as if the woman had never seen food before.

Anya laughed as the brunette stuffed another handful of curly fries in her mouth.

"What?" Raven said between mouthfuls of food.

"Nothing. Keep eating," Anya chuckled. What was it with Raven and food?

Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, Anya caught the lone patron at the back of diner staring up at them.

She looked of similar age to Anya. Dark circles sat around her eyes as if she hadn't slept in weeks. Framed by blonde frizzy hair that fell messily past her shoulders. She didn't look away; those dark eyes kept darting between Raven and Anya as if sizing up a mark.

A shiver skittered down Anya's spine as she looked away and tried to shrug it off. She couldn't help but feel she'd seen that face before.

She finished her food quickly before leaving a few bills on the table and urging Raven to leave.


	8. Chapter 8

"You okay?" Raven asked on the drive home, her eyes dripping with concern.

Anya hadn't spoken since the restaurant. That girl in the diner had given her the creeps. She just couldn't shake the feeling she'd seen the blonde somewhere before. Something was achingly familiar about her face.

"Yeah, fine," she lied. "Just want to get back to writing. I miss you."

 _Smooth, Anya_ , she thought to herself as she took Raven's hand in hers and planted a firm kiss to the back of it without taking her eyes off the road.

Raven smiled an almost shy smile. "Good. Means my plan is working."

OoOoO

Anya stared at the computer screen as she thought about the unnerving glare of the mysterious woman again. She'd seen her somewhere before. She was sure of it. But where?

Night had fallen before Anya finally managed to focus long enough to get any writing done. She'd started her first draft and was certain she made her word quota for the day, but when her gaze fell to the word count score in the bottom of the screen, dread filled her like a pile of bricks.

 _Word count: 1282_

 _How depressing_ , she thought. With a yawn and a long stretch, Anya saved her work and headed upstairs to find Raven sitting on the bed reading a book.

Anya grinned when she saw the title, _Chains and Commanders_. It was one of the many lesbian erotica novels she'd written. That one in particular about a commander with some quirky habits behind closed tent flaps when she wasn't busy leading her people.

Raven's eyes lit up when she noticed Anya leaning in the doorway. She genuinely looked happy to see Anya, and even a little turned on for some reason.

"Wow. You look hott in those glasses, babe."

Anya mentally scolded herself for forgetting to take her specs off downstairs. With an embarrassed smile, she quickly slipped them off.

"Nooooo," Raven whined. "Please leave them on? And _please_ tell me you reached your word count."

Anya folded the arms of her glasses and placed them on the nightstand before sitting on the bed and shaking her head sadly.

Raven let out a sad sigh of her own. "That's alright. Tomorrow you'll get it. Then we can have all kinds of fun. Ready for bed then?"

With a nod, Anya stripped off her bra and shimmied out of her pants before slipping under the blanket with Raven.

Raven played little spoon, pulling Anya's arms tight around herself as she snuggled close. Warmth spread through Anya's chest as she squeezed the brunette tightly to her and inhaled Raven's freshly shampooed head.

At least they could cuddle like this. It was all Anya had ever needed. To have the woman she loved in her arms again. Even if she _was_ a stranger to Raven.

OoOoO

That night, Anya dreamed the night of the crash. A recurring nightmare she experienced often. But this time, a lone detail would stick out…

So far, the dream played out as it often would.

Anya was in the car with Raven, riding shotgun, spirits high as she laughed at something her lover had said. For whatever reason, she was always in the car too. One minute everything was fine, they were talking and holding hands, and the next, everything was wrong.

First, the flare of panic would rise in her chest, constricting thought and breath until eliciting that heart-wrenching gasp that was followed by the squealing of tires. Then, they were surrounded by flames. Every direction, origin unknown as they would dance and twist to life. Aggressively reaching for the girls inside.

Anya would feel the cool mixture of blood and sweat trickle down her face when she finally opened her eyes again, its metallic flavor seeping into her mouth as she gaped at a lifeless Raven in the driver's seat.

A trembling hand moved to rest on Raven's shoulder. "Ra-Raven?"

No response.

Chocolate orbs stared off into nothingness, unfocused and glossy. Anya cried out Raven's name again. Uncaring of the flames leaping around them.

Suddenly, the loudest blast to ever fall on Anya's ears sounded as the car exploded. Now Anya was a phantom. Still sitting in the passenger seat, still staring at Raven who lied burnt and dead and burning.

The flames twisting against caramel skin, warping and deforming what was once the most beautiful face Anya had ever laid eyes on.

Anya screamed, no, shrieked her displeasure, not caring if the world were to shatter at the shrill intensity of the sound. Screeching for Raven to be okay. Willing with every fibre of her being for the loving mechanic to open her eyes and shoot Anya that adorable goofball grin.

Anger evident, Anya turned toward the windshield, staring past broken glass and raging flames and into the dark eyes of the blonde-haired driver in the other car. The driver that collided with Raven's car. The woman who murdered Raven.

Those dark eyes locked with Anya's, staring back at her through the fire.

OoOoO

Anya bolted upright in bed, shaking and sweating as Raven came to her aid, cradling the blonde in her arms.

"Heeeey, whoa. That's some nightmare you had. You okay, baby?"

Anya swallowed hard, breathless and dehydrated. She turned to Raven and stared deeply into those dark brown eyes she loved so much.

This time, the crash really was a dream. Raven was alive. Or at least she was still whatever she was. She was still there with Anya in the real world, arms wrapped around her as the brunette rocked them back and forth.

Without explanation, Anya pulled back from the embrace and cupped Raven's jaw firmly before crashing their lips together. Pouring everything she had into that kiss, inhaling every breath and moan she could steal from the other girl.

Just as abrupt as when the kiss began, Anya pulled away without warning before storming from the bedroom, down the stairs, and into her office.

Those dark, unnerving eyes from her dream flashed again in her mind. Those same eyes she had seen staring frantically at her and Raven. Anya knew who those murderous orbs belonged to. She was sure of it. She just needed confirmation.

Hurrying to her desk, Anya opened the file drawer and grabbed the police report from the night of the accident and flipped it open, searching for the girl's face. Her cousin Lincoln was a cop and had been kind enough to give her a copy of the girl's dossier.

Anya sifted through the papers hectically until finally, she found what she was looking for. The blonde's criminal photo. The face of the driver who was, in fact, staring at them in the diner the day before. The face of the woman who killed Raven.

 _Clarke Griffin_.


	9. Chapter 9

Tears stung Anya's eyes as she stared at the photo of Raven's killer. Clarke had sat just a few feet away from them in the diner the day prior. Had Anya remembered the girl's face, who knows what would have happened.

An angry fist slammed against the desk just then as the blonde crumpled into her computer chair and let the tears flow. Clarke Griffin had gotten off easy for the incident. No jail time. The girl came from money, her parents having hired a top-notch lawyer and bringing the charges down to a minimum.

Hazels snapped to the empty glass still sitting on the desk from the day before. With gritted teeth, she snatched the glass and hurled it at the wall with all her strength. Shards exploded off the wall, the shattering of the glass reverberating throughout the house.

"Anya?"

Raven poked her head in cautiously from behind the office door, eyes darting carefully between Anya and the broken glass.

Anya quickly scooped the stack of papers back up and dropped them into the file drawer. She couldn't even begin to explain to Raven how she was feeling. How did you tell someone you were within just a few feet of the person that killed them but didn't recognize who they were until just now?

"Everything okay?" Raven approached slowly, as if unsure whether or not Anya would attack at any moment.

Once the brunette was close enough, Anya reached for Raven's hand and pulled her close. Raven leant back on the desk, a look of concern and compassion in place as Anya rested her head against the brunette's soft, firm stomach.

"I want to help," Raven whispered, combing her fingers through Anya's hair. "Just tell me what you need."

Anya buried her face into Raven's wrinkled tank top and inhaled deeply. Raven always smelled so damn good. Next, she pressed a kiss to the thin garment before leaning back in the chair again and staring straight at Raven.

"I need you, Raven. I just need you."

Raven looked Anya up and down carefully as if studying her. Slowly, caramel fingers reached for Anya's jawline, cupping and pulling her toward the smoothest lips.

Anya almost whined when the brunette pulled away; her displeasure was short-lived however when Raven stripped away her top, revealing perfect petite breasts with perfectly taut nipples.

Anya swallowed hard as she watched Raven's perfect hands travel lower, pulling at the rim of her underwear and sliding them just below her clit.

"Does this help?" Raven asked.

Anya quickly glanced to chocolate swirls. She hadn't met her word count, what was Raven doing?

Resting gentle fingers on Raven's hips, Anya licked her lips as Raven spread herself open with two fingers.

"Are you sure? We'll be breaking your rules."

The salacious smirk on Raven's face was all the invitation Anya needed to dive forward face first and suck the brunette's sweet tang. She needed this, _needed_ to taste and envelop the woman she loved so badly.

Anya slipped Raven's panties the rest of the way down, never once breaking contact with the brunette's womanhood. Raven moaned as she scooted further back on the desk, legs falling further open to give Anya complete access.

Driven by her lover's erratic groaning; Anya pressed her face deeper, licked firmer, feasting on all that was Raven.

"Ahh…Anya…"

Anya smiled into her lover but kept rhythm with the roll of Raven's hips. Creeping from the brunette's hips to thighs, Anya slipped skilled fingers between Raven's slick legs.

She could practically hear Raven's grin as two fingers circled her entrance.

"Do it, baby!" Raven begged.

Without hesitation, Anya slipped her right index and middle digits inside Raven and set a brutal pace. It wasn't long before the brunette came with a scream, a fresh flood was Anya's reward, and she licked every bit of it happily, marveling in its deliciousness.

Once Raven fell limp, Anya rose to her feet with a look of animalistic desire in her eye causing Raven to smile and cock her head in question.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

But Anya didn't answer. Instead, in one swift motion, Anya grabbed the brunette by the wrist and spun her full circle, tipping her over the desk, ass in the air.

"Ohhhh, I see where this is going." Raven laughed. "You could've just asked you know."

With a chuckle of her own, Anya stripped away her own underwear before spreading her legs and lining up the apex of Raven's perfect ass with her clit, then started grinding away.

She held Raven down firmly with a hand to the back of the neck. Years before, Anya had discovered Raven enjoyed being restrained at times. She'd said the restriction was kinky and a turn on. But only when Anya did it of course.

Once Anya came with a long low groan, she let Raven free again who turned to face the blonde, breathless and still wanting as she pulled Anya back for another heartfelt kiss.

Anya accepted the tongue seeking entrance, sucking it lasciviously as she massaged Raven's perfect handfuls of flesh, rolling the nipples with her thumbs.

"Don't leave me," Anya whispered. "Stay with me forever. I can make you happy. I know I can."

Raven hovered just a breath away as she gazed deeply into Anya. "You don't know what you're asking. I'm not even human, Anya. I'm a Muse."

"Please," Anya breathed.

Tears welled in Raven's beautiful orbs as she whispered her reply. "This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm not allowed to love you back."


	10. Chapter 10

Anya spent the following week writing like she'd never written before. Determined more than ever to finish the novel that would explain her feelings and (hopefully) convince Raven to stay with the avid writer, forever.

The book deal was just a bonus now, as was the paycheck that came with it. Anya's only focus was Raven. To convey every detail of love to the heartache that was her life. She was bearing her soul to the world with this story. But only she would know it was real.

Anya raised her arms overhead and stretched after yet another writing marathon. Over thirty thousand words she'd written that week, and she was just getting started. The real challenge would be the main content of her draft. _The accident_.

Raven entered with a bowl of macaroni and cheese just as Anya laced her fingers behind her head and stared at the ceiling to think out every detail of the scene. The interruption was a welcome one if her gurgling stomach was anything to go by.

She smiled when Raven set the bowl in front of her with a cold can of diet coke. Anya looked at the bright orange bowl of noodles. She was pleased Raven was mastering her way around boiling water and mixing in milk and a flavor packet.

"Thank you, Raven. This looks great."

Raven smiled. "The noodles aren't hard this time. I did what you told me and threw them against the wall until they stuck."

Anya lifted a brow. "How many did you throw exactly?"

Raven looked in every direction but Anya's way as she always did when wanting to avoid a topic. "Unimportant," she said quickly before kissing Anya's temple and rushing from the room.

Anya chuckled as she lifted a spoonful of noodles to her mouth and took the mushiest mouthful of macaroni she had ever tasted. Shaking her head but still smiling internally, Anya set the bowl aside.

 _She'll get it one day_.

OoOoO

Anya sat outside on the porch steps after another long day of writing. She stared at the clear night sky, gazing up at the moon while wondering how she was going to write the next part of this book. She was three weeks in and finally coming up to the car crash.

The event was proving impossible to write. She'd think of the events from her perspective, and suddenly she'd freeze, barely able to breathe as her nightmares came to life. She had to push through them she knew, but the pain was still so fresh. She didn't know if the wounds of that night would ever truly heal.

She had waited over three hours for Raven to show at that restaurant. She remembered the nerves that paralyzed her as she clutched onto that black ring box for most of the evening.

Then how she received the phone call from Lincoln in the middle of the night after returning home. She remembered being asked to come down to the city morgue to identify Raven's burnt corpse. Her body barely recognizable.

Anya was probably the only person who _could_ identify the body. She knew every inch of Raven. Knew the birthmark just on the inside of her left wrist. Or the scar she got on her right elbow after falling off a dirt bike when she was a teen.

Anya knew all of Raven's marks which was why she was so crushed when she realized it was, in fact, Raven's corpse in that morgue.

Raven never had a chance, not even a sliver of hope. She never went to the hospital. The car had exploded, killing her instantly and sealing her fate.

Then, there was the driver, describing the reason Raven lost her life was because some dumbass med student decided to get high on narcotics then go for a joy ride just caused Anya's anger to stir all over again.

Anya cursed the name that was Clarke Griffin. She shivered suddenly for some unknown reason and looked around.

The cool night air was still. Street lamps provided irregular pools of dim lighting for the cookie cutter houses that lined the cul-de-sac. The silence only broke at the sound of a few chirping crickets. Nothing explained Anya's spontaneous skitter. That is until the shadow across the road suddenly shifted and moved closer.

Literally, at the end of Anya's driveway, the impossible happened. A familiar blonde-haired woman, clad head to toe in dark leather stepped from the shadows. The blackness of the girl's attire matched the dark circles of her eyes. Eyes Anya would never be able to forget since seeing them in the diner several days prior.

It was Clarke Griffin herself.

Anya shot to her feet, storming down the drive fists clenched, teeth gritted, and hazels raging as she closed the distance.

"You must have a death wish coming here."

It took all the strength Anya could muster not to strangle Clarke then and there or beat her to a bloody pulp as she deserved.

Clarke stood motionless, her mouth opened but no words came out. She looked broken. Defeated.

"Say something!" Anya shrieked. Her tone was much louder than she intended, but Clarke's proximity made her crazy. Raven's killer stood just a few feet away.

Anya's harsh tone seemed to grab Clarke's attention. "Sh-She's alive."

It was more of a statement than a question. Anya crossed her arms and looked back toward the house to make sure Raven hadn't come out.

"H—How?" Clarke stuttered, just as shocked as Anya was the day Raven first showed up in her life again.

Anya shook her head. "You don't deserve answers. And you wouldn't believe me if I told you anyway. Get out of here."

Anya turned to leave but was stopped by a hand on her arm. She was surprised the gesture didn't elicit even more anger. Clarke's hand trembled almost uncontrollably.

"Wait. I don't know what's going on. I don't know if that girl had a sister or—"

"Her name was, Raven!" Anya shouted angrily. "The woman you killed was called, Raven Reyes!"

Clarke cowered and shook her head, dark oceans glistening with unshed tears. "I'm sorry, Anya. For…everything."

Anya wasn't surprised Clarke knew her name. Surely, they both had gotten the same police report.

Anya shifted on her feet. What did this girl want from her?

"I came to talk to you."

Anya lifted a brow. "I can't do shit with your apologies, so save it."

"I know, I know. Look, there's more that happened that night that you don't know about. That the _police_ don't know about."

Anya swore under her breath. "You can't shift blame to anyone else. _You_ were the driver. _You're_ the one who killed the woman I loved most in this world!"

"Please," Clarke plead. "Please, just listen. Raven wasn't alone in the car that night."

That got Anya's attention. Her jaw fell open, unsure if she'd heard correctly.

"She wasn't even the one driving. She was in the passenger seat," Clarke continued.

A flood of adrenaline rushed through Anya's system at this new information. But before she could ask anything Raven called from the front door.

"Anya? Babe, you out here?"

"Over here, Raven," Anya called. "I'll be there in a minute."

But Raven was already marching down the driveway to meet them and discover who Anya's new acquaintance was who also happened to be her killer.

"Don't say anything," Anya whispered quickly to Clarke. "Raven doesn't have any memory of it."

She couldn't confirm whether Clarke understood or not as Raven joined them while swinging an arm around Anya's shoulder.

"Hey there, stranger. Friend of Anya's?"

Clarke glanced at Anya before carefully turning toward Raven. "Errr, yeah. Clarke, nice to meet you."

Anya had to close her eyes as Raven shook the hand of the woman that killed her. She hated this. Hated that Clarke and Raven were touching. Hated that they were acting so damn civilized.

 _Come on, Raven. Let's just go inside._ Anya willed.

"Have you had dinner, Clarke?"

Anya's eyes nearly bulged from her skull. _Oh no. Raven, please stop being so horribly polite. We cannot invite your murderer into our house!_

"Errrr," Clarke was clearly at a loss for words.

"Guess that means we have a guest for dinner! Come on in, Clarke. I cooked! Hope you like grilled cheese sandwiches."

Raven switched her arm from Anya's shoulder to Clarke's and guided her inside sending a sharp stab of betrayal to Anya's chest.

Of course, Raven couldn't have known. It was up to Anya now to get everyone through the evening in one piece and make sure Clarke didn't spill anything about the accident. She also needed to get Clarke alone to figure out what the hell she was going to say.

What did Clarke mean Raven wasn't alone in the car? And why in hell would Raven not be driving?

With a deep breath, Anya followed them inside. Wishing the night was already over.


	11. Chapter 11

Raven looked so darn proud of the mountain of grilled cheese sandwiches she'd served for dinner that night.

"Alright, dig in ladies. If you don't like the first one you grab, just take another. There has to be at least one you're bound to like."

Anya was the first one to grab a sandwich from the tower and nodded for Clarke to hurry the hell up.

"So, Clarke," Raven started a little too enthusiastically. "Tell me about you. How do you and Anya know each other?"

Clarke's eyes widened in panic. "We met through a friend," she said quickly.

"Cool. What do you do for work? You must know Anya's an amazing published author?"

"Let's not interrogate the poor girl, Raven." Anya was getting nervous. She hated Raven and Clarke being in such close proximity.

"Haven't found a job yet," Clarke answered. "I just got out of rehab actually. Had a drug problem to kick."

Anya stared coldly across the table. Her grilled cheese forgotten and fist clenching around the now mangled sandwich.

"You alright, babe?" Raven asked, staring at Anya's tightly clasped fingers.

"Yeah. Sorry, I'm just not hungry tonight."

"Oh, okay. Well if you change your mind later I'll make you something."

Anya watched the rest of the evening transpire in slow motion. Raven kept the conversation going and even elicited a small smile from Clarke which only enraged Anya that much more.

Raven was like that, full of charm and able to draw a smile out of even the most darkest of souls.

When dinner finally finished, and Raven moved to clear the plates, Anya jumped up. "I'll walk Clarke out."

"No no no," Raven said quickly. "Stay, Clarke. Anya, can you show her to the living room then meet me in the kitchen please?"

Anya shook her head in disbelief. Would she ever get this murderer out of her house?

"Follow me," she grumbled toward Clarke.

The living room was surprisingly clean since the last time Anya had seen it which was before Raven's return.

Gone were the beer bottles and empty pizza boxes scattered across the floor. The carpet had been vacuumed and coffee table cleaned off. Even Raven's red sweater had been hung on a coat rack in the far corner.

"Stay here," Anya ordered. "And if an opportunity to leave presents itself, please do us both a favor and go."

"I need to talk to you," Clarke insisted, earnest in her eyes.

Anya left the room without another word. She wanted to speak to Clarke, but it wasn't the right time.

She entered the kitchen to find Raven having just finished washing their plates. The rest of the kitchen, however, was another story. How did one girl make such a mess when it came to basic cooking?

"There you are," Raven greeted.

"Hey."

"So, she's cute, yeah?"

Anya furrowed her brows. "Who?"

"Clarke, dummy. Who else?"

Anya held up her hands. "I don't know where you're going with this but the answer is no!"

"Oh, come on! Are you honestly telling me you don't think she's cute and don't want to have a threesome tonight?"

Fury rose in Anya's chest all over again just at the suggestion. Raven had no idea what she was proposing.

"No," Anya said with finality and turned away.

Raven's hands came to rest on tense shoulders before Anya could make her escape. Those wonderful soft fingertips slowly started to knead in the best way.

"Look, I know you want me, Anya," Raven started, lowering her tone. "But I won't always be here. One day, you _will_ want someone else. And I want to help you find that lucky person."

Anya shook her head. This night had gone from bad to worse fast.

"Alright, look. I'll make you a deal…"

Anya glanced over her shoulder to indicate she was listening.

"Let's do it my way tonight. And if you aren't in love with Clarke by your deadline, I'll stay with you _indefinitely_. Muse duties be damned."

Anya swallowed hard as she thought about the insane deal on the table. Sleep with her former girlfriend's killer in order to keep Raven forever?

"You'll stay no matter what?" Anya asked, turning in Raven's arms, her voice shaking. "Even say, if one day I told you something horrible and it changed your life?"

Raven furrowed her brows. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

Anya shook her head, "It's just a 'what if' situation. I'm a writer, I'm bound to say weird things. I just want to make sure you won't go back on this agreement."

Raven smiled, "I don't care if you chain me to the stove and treat me like a 1950's housewife for the rest of your days, baby. I'll keep my word. Promise. The truth is you're gonna die long before I will anyway."

Anya quirked a brow at that last note as Raven giggled and kissed her cheek before leaving the kitchen.


	12. Chapter 12

Clarke was still in the living room when they returned, sitting in Raven's favorite chair. Anya took a deep, nervous breath as she watched Clarke shoot to her feet at their arrival.

"So," Raven started. "I have a question for you, Clarke."

Anya noticed Clarke's fingers begin to twitch, she was probably nervous. It had been a weird night and was only about to get weirder.

"Yeah?"

Raven strode right into Clarke's personal space and grasped both the blonde's hands, then pressed them snuggly to her breasts, sliding them down slowly over her thin, red tank top.

Surprise and arousal fell over Anya, why the scene of Clarke's hands on Raven like that didn't make her blood boil with rage and envy were beyond her.

True, Clarke wasn't bad to look at. Even with the dark circles under her eyes and frizzed hair. Maybe it was all the black leather the other girl wore that was so arousing. Either way, Anya seemed to be digging the gothic punk look.

Anya chuckled as Raven continued to play with Clarke, letting out an obnoxious moan as she squeezed Clarke's trembling hands harder against the brunette's breasts.

Clarke's stormy gaze suddenly turned to Anya, the girl looked terrified, as if Anya was about to shoot her on site.

"Do you think I'm hott?" Raven asked in a deep, husky whisper.

Clarke appeared dumbstruck but eventually found her voice. "Yes," she breathed.

"Ever been with a girl before?" was Raven's next question.

Clarke visibly swallowed before nodding her head.

Raven looked back at Anya with a grin and a raised brow. "Yeah? Ever been with _two_ girls before?"

Clarke shook her head as Raven turned to Anya and crooked a finger. "Come here, baby. Help me take care of our guest please?"

Clarke's eyes looked about to bulge from her skull. She hadn't a clue what was happening.

"Uhh, maybe we could have a drink first, Raven?" Anya said, thinking quickly. "Something to help settle everyone's nerves?"

Raven released Clarke's hands before slipping away. "Sure. Beer, you two?"

Both nodded.

As soon as Raven was out of earshot, Clarke turned to Anya. "What the fuck is going on? Is this part of some sick sadistic scheme you two have cooked up? Are you gonna kill me?"

"No," Anya whispered quickly. "Look, I'll explain later. But I need you to have a convincing threesome with me and Raven tonight."

Clarke's jaw hung wide. "What the fuck is wrong with you? You know who I am! You know what I've done to you. And to her! And how the fuck is she still walking around!?"

Anya heard the echo of the fridge door closing from down the hall and the clinking of beer bottles.

"There isn't time to explain. Just don't leave this house without giving me your phone number alright? I promise I'll call you tomorrow and we'll talk about everything. But I need you to do this for me tonight. There's a good reason I promise."

Clarke let out a huffed breath but didn't respond. Raven came around the corner a moment later with three opened beer bottles.

"You two ready to get this party started?"

OoOoO

It was odd to say the absolute least, making out with the woman who killed your girlfriend. And odder still how Anya started to enjoy those new lips on her clit as the night wore on.

Of course, the five beers in her probably helped with the scenario but didn't make the pleasure she was receiving from two gorgeous women any less amazing.

Raven kept Anya's mouth and tits busy while Clarke took care of the down under. The three had somehow moseyed to the upstairs bedroom at some point, and before Anya knew it, they were engaged in a threesome.

Anya's head swam with power and booze as she forced Clarke to her knees in the bedroom. Every action, every touch, look, and kiss Anya gave her was rough and impersonal.

Clarke had a different approach. Her ministrations toward Anya were all apologetic, accompanied by a remorseful gaze. She was gentle and nurturing and surprisingly brave.

Anya stood tall as she allowed Clarke and Raven to disrobe her. Clarke starting with the belt buckle and Raven stripping away Anya's tank and bra like an expert.

Once completely bare, Raven gently grasped the back of Clarke's head and shoved her face first into Anya's kooch.

Anya let out an involuntary moan. Clarke definitely knew what she was doing. Raven beamed as she stepped around the blonde on the floor and slid her hands up Anya's bare chest, stopping at the breasts to roll, pinch, and lick at taut nubs.

Anya groaned again as she cupped Raven's jaw and crashed their lips together. Raven's tongue snuck between Anya's lips who eagerly accepted.

Raven was her heaven, her treasure. Everything Raven did was magnificent. Her touch always confident, sexy, and heaven-like. Anya would never tire of making love with this woman.

As Clarke's mouth suctioned harder, Anya let out another guttural moan, Raven swallowing every bit of it as she smiled into the kiss.

Anya's hips began to gyrate and roll against Clarke's mouth in frenzy. Slipping one hand behind Clarke's head and the other behind Raven's neck, Anya was able to press the perfect pressure to everywhere she needed.

Her tongue wrestled with Raven's, each fighting to dominate the kiss. The battle a fruitless one for Raven, Anya's insides were on fire and she was alive with verve as she jerked against Clarke's head repeatedly until finally coming with a gasping scream.

Raven broke the kiss first, steadying Anya with soft hands on her hips as the brunette gently walked her to the bed. Anya lay on her back, limp and weak from such an intense orgasm.

Kissing Raven as passionately as she had, zapped her energy yet revitalized her at the same time. Propping up on her elbows, Anya crooked a finger at Raven who happily joined the blonde on the bed.

The brunette quickly slipped over Anya's hips in a casual straddle, the action familiar and possessive. Clarke's head appeared behind Raven's shoulder, wiping her mouth as she looked at Anya cautiously. Uncertainty in her steely gaze.

Raven craned her neck to smile at Clarke and beckon her on the bed. Anya said nothing. Simply watched as Clarke crawled awkwardly onto the mattress fully-clothed, never once breaking eye contact with Anya.

"Relax," Anya said in that husked whisper of hers.

This was going to happen. Anya knew that. She needed this threesome believable so Raven thought the blonde had at least tried to open herself up for new love, then the brunette would have to stay forever. For that, she was about to make a grand performance.

She closed the distance with Raven's lips first, locking them in the most passionate kiss before breaking away and lying on her back again.

Anya glanced at Clarke. "Take off your clothes, and come sit on me, Clarke."

Raven's face lit up at Anya's choice of words. The brunette quickly fumbled with her belt buckle, Anya helped the fumbling fingers, undoing the clasp and shed the remainder of Raven's garments in record time.

Raven started her ride, long hard thrusts into Anya as Clarke stripped beside them. The blonde lifted a brow as she noticed Raven watching Clarke undress while still rubbing manically against Anya's slippery slit.

"Please look at me," Anya said quietly.

Raven did so obediently. And when chocolates connected with honeyed-hazels, something changed, there was a sentiment in Raven's eye Anya had never seen there before. Was it love? A trick of the light?

"Okay," Clarke interrupted. "Where would you like me?"

Raven blinked, and the moment was broken. Had it existed to begin with? Or was it in Anya's head?

"Over here," Raven started, halting her grinding and grasping Clarke by the hand. "Put your knees either side of Anya's head and face me. Anya's going to take care of us."

Clarke did as she was told. Anya was uneasy at first but had a plan to knock Clarke out after the first consecutive string of orgasms Anya was about to give her. With Clarke breathless and weak, Anya would have Raven to herself again afterward.

After she performed, Raven would be hers… forever.

Clarke peeled back her lower lips as she lowered herself over Anya's waiting mouth. Moaning into the position as she settled over the older blonde.

"She has an amazing tongue," Raven laughed before realigning her slit with Anya's and resumed grinding. "Mmmmm, fuck baby. You feel so good."

Anya smiled into Clarke's womanhood at hearing Raven. Clarke slowly bobbed up and down into Anya's mouth as she licked and sucked ferociously. She didn't give Clarke any chance for build up, instead zoning right in on Clarke's tangy bud and sucking hard.

As soon as Clarke cried out, Anya inserted two fingers into the mix, thrusting mercilessly but at a pace Clarke could ride. Once the younger blonde's hips turned erratic, Anya gripped her thighs, pulling her impossibly closer, sucking and lashing her tongue on Clarke's clit without mercy until Clarke was screaming out her name.

After sending a fresh gushing flood over Anya's fingers, Clarke toppled off to the side. Anya could hear Raven laughing.

"That looked like a big one!"

Anya sat up and noticed Clarke laying on her back, attempting to recover. Then, enveloped Raven in a heated tongue wrestle first, helping the brunette come just as hard before turning back to Clarke.

Anya shook her head and climbed across the bed, settling between Clarke's legs and sliding back down between them.

"We're not finished yet," Anya husked, her gaze meeting Clarke's. Blue oceans stared almost fearfully into Anya's hazels, almost as if she knew what was coming.

Anya was about to punish Clarke. This was it. After this last performance, Clarke would be a goner the rest of the night and Raven the older blonde's prize.

Anya hovered over Clarke's mound a moment, waiting for permission to start. After receiving a nod, she dived in face first. She knew Clarke's clit would already be overly stimulated, dangerously sensitive, but that didn't stop her from commencing the brutal tongue lashing.

Clarke's breaths grew labored, frantic even until she came with a long dramatic scream causing both Anya and Raven to chuckle. But Anya didn't stop there. Somewhere amidst the activity, the car crash floated to the surface of her thoughts.

She grew angry, her brutal tongue strokes increased in speed. She wanted to punish Clarke, so targeted Clarke's swollen bean and sucked furiously. Clarke immediately screamed out, her hips jumping erratically as she came over and over again. Anya was certain each one more painful than the last.

Even as Clarke started to squirm, still, Anya did not let up. Clarke kept coming, crying out until tears streamed.

"Whoa there. Slow down, tiger. Let's not kill the poor girl."

It was Raven's soft hands pulling Anya away. Clarke collapsed against the pillows immediately after being freed from Anya's harsh and erotic punishment.

"See? Told you this would be fun," Raven whispered.

Clarke was breathing hard, but the deed was done if Clarke's rolling eyes and limp limbs were anything to go by.

With a wicked smile, Anya crawled on her hands and knees back toward Raven, pressing moist lips to the brunette's and sharing Clarke's flavor with her partner.

"You're all mine now," Anya whispered. " _All mine. Forever."_


	13. Chapter 13

Anya woke to find herself completely sandwiched between Clarke and Raven. She chuckled softly as she withdrew her arm from Clarke's waist and turned to spoon Raven instead, the woman her heart belonged to.

Her clit tingled, and body ached in all the best ways from her wild night with the two women. She'd never done anything like that before but was glad she had.

Clarke had some surprisingly impressive moves for round two of the evening. Clarke had committed acts Anya never even considered trying before.

But none of that mattered now. All that mattered was Raven. _Anya's Raven_.

With a gentle finger, she stroked the smoothest cheek and waited for the brunette's sleepy smile to greet her. The happy gaze came quick, Raven smiled wildly as she pulled Anya close and kissed her hard. It was how Anya wanted to wake every morning for the rest of her life.

She hoped that was possible now that she'd done the deal. She fucked Clarke. There was no way she was going to fall in love with the murderer. Now Raven was hers. No matter her reaction to Anya's book, Raven would have to stay. She promised.

"I should make breakfast," Raven said sleepily.

Anya shook her head. "No, you should stay right here."

Raven giggled before sitting up and stretching her arms out. "We have a guest, baby. You stay with Clarke in case she wakes up. Pretty sure I have scrambled eggs mastered. I'll be back soon."

Anya sighed as Raven awkwardly climbed overtop Anya on her journey out of bed. She was pretty sure the titty slap on her face during Raven's crossing was intentional as the brunette missed Clarke's face completely.

As soon as Raven was gone, Anya shook Clarke awake.

"Wake up!" Anya whispered harshly.

"Hmmm?"

Anya shook Clarke again.

"What? What?" Clarke's voice was groggy with sleep.

Anya grabbed her phone off the night stand. "Here. Put your number in my phone. Then get dressed and make any excuse to leave."

Clarke grabbed the phone, staring at it through heavy lids before her head crashed back against the pillows.

"Dammit Clarke, if you don't get up now I'm gonna start bitch slapping you!"

"Why does that turn me on so much?" Clarke joked. It was the first time Anya had seen the other woman smile.

Anya rolled her eyes and smirked as she nudged the girl upright. Clarke definitely had a dirty mind. It made sense since her sex drive was almost insatiable. _Almost_.

Anya had greatly underestimated the younger blonde the night before. Thinking Clarke would be passed out the rest of the night after her orgasmic punishment. That just wasn't the case however.

Clarke passed the phone back a moment later and started to get out of bed. "Text me soon okay? It's important we talk."

"Wait," Anya hesitated. "What is it? Can't you just tell me now? You said Raven wasn't driving the car?"

"She wasn't—"

"Time to wake up, ladies!" Raven shouted from the kitchen. "Breakfast in five!"

Anya let out a frustrated sigh. She loved Raven dearly, but her timing was impeccable.

"Just go, I'll text you when I can."

Clarke dressed and hurried downstairs. Anya followed just behind.

"Oh, are you leaving? Don't you want breakfast?" Raven asked, sticking her head out of the kitchen.

"Sorry. I had a great time, Raven. But I have somewhere to be. I'll see you around."

"Oh, okay. Bye, Clarke. Do come back soon."

Anya cringed at Raven's suggestion for Clarke to return but the feeling was quickly replaced with relief when the front door finally slammed shut behind Clarke, hopefully forever.

She just needed to know what Clarke knew about the accident then would never have to think about the girl again.

Anya hurried into the kitchen, heading straight for Raven and pulling her in for the closest embrace while picking her up in glee by the waist, causing the brunette to squeal in delight.

"Why are you so happy?" Raven asked through laughter.

Anya spun Raven in her arms. "Because now you're mine forever. Start picking out that new wallpaper, babe, because this is now your home too. Oh, and this means I can start calling you my girlfriend now, right?"

Raven laughed but shook her head. "Afraid not. There's still another week and a half until your deadline. If you really don't fall for Clarke by then. Then yes, you can call me your girlfriend and I will stay forever."

Anya smiled anyway, picking Raven up again and spinning her around. She felt like she'd already won. Raven was back for good.

What could go wrong?


	14. Chapter 14

"We're not supposed to being doing this," Raven breathed in Anya's ear.

The brunette sat over Anya's lap in the desk chair, pinned and primed and locked in a furious make-out session. She wasn't sure how much time had passed, only knew she didn't want it to stop.

"I disagree," Anya whispered back. "I think this is exactly what we should be doing."

She moved to pull aside Raven's slick underwear but was stopped by smooth fingertips.

"We can't," Raven panted, harder this time. She sounded close to the brink of coming. Anya could do that for her. Her fingers were so close to where Raven needed her most. "You haven't earned this yet. I need seven thousand words from you today."

"You'll get them," Anya promised. "And I don't need anything. Just let me take care of _you_."

Raven stared at Anya a long moment through hooded lids as she caught her breath until finally nodding her head and wrapping lithe arms around Anya's neck.

Smiling into the kiss, Anya lifted the brunette off the chair and dropped them both to the floor. The volume of Raven's moaning intensified, as did Anya's need to sate her lover. She wasted no time tearing Raven's panties from her like an animal. The garment ruined forever.

Next, Anya plunged face first into Raven's sex, her aroma heady and thick and intoxicating. Raven neared the edge quickly, but Anya wasn't ready to grant her orgasmic pleasure just yet, just at the tip of Raven's impending orgasm, Anya withdrew her tongue and traded clit for lips.

There was no time for Raven to be disappointed as Anya's skilled fingers took over clit duty. Rubbing and jerking Raven's womanhood like a pro. Touching secret places around the hardened nub that only Anya knew existed with years of learning what Raven liked.

Anya wrestled with Raven's tongue, sucking it in and groaning when her partner reversed the move. They kissed violently like that until Raven's moans became a long incessant string of pleasurable outburst. Screaming in a way that would boost Anya's ego for years to come.

When Raven finally fell limp, Anya smiled and rose to her knees, buckling her pants and fixing her tank top as Raven did the same, minus the destroyed underwear.

"That was incredible," Raven breathed.

Anya smiled at her partner. The ache between her own legs still throbbing with need but she'd have to wait. She had a feeling she'd be writing a smut scene next just to take the edge off.

Once clothes were fixed and hair was brushed out of their faces again, Anya sat behind the computer desk with a blank word doc as she watched Raven leave.

As soon as the brunette was gone, Anya reached for her phone and wasted no time texting Clarke.

 _Are you there?_

It would've been easier to call, but she didn't want to risk Raven overhearing or know the blonde was distracted from writing.

The phone vibrated almost immediately with a Clarke's response. _I'm here. Can you talk?_

 _Raven can't know I'm distracted. Text only._

Anya's heart pounded as she waited for a reply. She wanted to get to the bottom of this already.

 _I really need to tell you this in person. Come meet me?_

Anya sighed and looked at the clock. It was already ten, and she had a long way to go with the word quota. There was no way it was going to happen.

 _Please?_ Was the next message.

It seemed really important to Clarke that Anya heard what she had to say in person.

After a moment of contemplation, she texted, _When and where?_

 _Grounder's Grub. As soon as you can get here._

OoOoO

Anya headed for the door but sure enough was stopped in the hall by Raven. "Hey, where you going? You really need to work today, Anya."

"I know. My publisher called," Anya said quickly, thinking on her feet. "They want to meet with me about something. I shouldn't be long."

"Oh? I didn't hear your phone ring."

"I had it set to vibrate." Anya had to commend herself for being so smooth. Sometimes it paid to have the mind of a writer. "Want me to bring you back anything?"

Raven shook her head. "No, just hurry. Your deadline's just around the corner. You need to have at least the first draft finished.

Anya nodded. "I know. I'll be back soon."

Anya pressed a firm, heartfelt kiss to Raven's lips before leaving. She was glad the brunette had at least lifted the rules against kissing.

After escaping the house, Anya let out a sharp breath. Her heart pounded a mile a minute. She hated lying to Raven, but she needed to talk to Clarke and couldn't explain to Raven why. Not without telling her everything. And Anya wasn't ready for that. She needed to do it delicately and through her book, as planned.

OoOoO

"Make it quick," Anya said as she sat in the booth at the back of Grounder's Grub Diner with Clarke.

It was a slow day for the restaurant, and they had a table mostly alone except for the waitress taking their drink orders.

"I was still conscious after it happened," Clarke started. "My car struck the passenger side of Raven's vehicle."

Clarke stopped when the waitress brought Anya a coffee and refilled her own.

"Go on," Anya urged, ignoring the beverage.

Clarke wrapped trembling fingers around the steaming mug before pushing it away.

"I'm pretty sure Raven died on impact. I got the same police report as you. I know it says she died afterward in the explosion, but she was already dead from dying on impact —in the _passenger seat_."

Anya's brows knit together. She didn't understand. But then a thought occurred to her, she'd read that file a hundred times. Raven was found dead in the driver's side and alone in the car. A minor detail of course, she'd never thought to think twice about it. She had no reason to.

"Get to the point, Clarke. What are you saying?" Anya was losing her patience. She swallowed hard as dread filled her. What was she about to learn? "You keep saying someone else was driving the car. Why wasn't there another body found?"

Tears welled in Clarke's oceans as her lip began to tremble. "Because the driver didn't die. The car didn't explode for several minutes after the accident. In that time, the other woman crawled out of the wreckage and pulled Raven's corpse behind the wheel."

Anya slammed her palms on the table and shook her head. "That doesn't make any sense!"

She didn't mean to yell. But Clarke's story was too incredulous. Who could have possibly been in the car with Raven? How could the police not have figured all this out!?

"I couldn't move," Clarke continued, her voice shaking. "But I could see everything. I saw the driver flee and leave Raven for dead."

"Can you tell me what this woman looked like? Which direction she headed after fleeing the scene?"

Clarke squinted through never-ending tears as she focused on Anya unnervingly. "Not only can I tell you what she looks like, I can tell you _who_ she is and _where_ to find her."


	15. Chapter 15

The following afternoon, Anya sat in her car outside Azgeda Medical Clinic. Her appointment wasn't for another hour, but she couldn't wait and needed time to steel her nerves.

It was Clarke who made the appointment, being the daughter of a doctor meant you could get an appointment within twenty-four hours flat, your friends included.

Not that Anya considered them friends. Not yet anyway.

Anya told Raven that morning she'd forgotten all about a doctor's appointment and had said she got a reminder call while out with the publisher the day before. She assured Raven she was fine and it was just a routine check-up.

It was with great reluctance Raven let her go, but in the end, she said Anya's health was the most important thing.

Anya bit her thumb as nerves shook her entire being again. She was about to get answers. She was about to confront the woman who got in the accident then left Raven for dead.

Had Raven been driving, she may still be alive. Not as a muse, but as Raven Reyes, the human being, the space engineer. It was likely she and Raven would have even been married by now. That thought alone made Anya's blood boil all over again.

Because of this doctor, Raven was dead. And the biggest question of all, why was Raven's doctor driving Raven's car?

It confused Anya to no end when Clarke repeated who the woman was.

" _It was my mom,"_ Clarke had said. " _My Mom, Dr. Abigail Griffin is who put Raven behind the wheel. She didn't help her. She put Raven in the seat and ran away."_ Clarke was a blubbering mess by the end of it.

Oddly enough, Anya had moved from her seat to sit in the booth beside Clarke and placed a comforting arm around the girl as she cried. Anya had stared off into the distance as her mind went into information overload.

She recognized the name immediately as Raven's doctor. The brunette had had an appointment the night she died. Anya had told Raven to drive straight from the doctor's office to the restaurant, resulting in her untimely death.

Anya had remained paralyzed in place until Clarke finally calmed down. Once she did, Anya asked how to find _Abby Griffin_.

OoOoO

It felt an eternity while Anya waited in the patient room for Dr. Griffin. But eventually in came Abby while looking at her clipboard, completely oblivious to what was about to happen.

"Okay… Anya. What seems to be the problem?"

Anya smirked as she gripped the knife in her pocket, her palms grew sweaty around the hilt. "Well…"

Suddenly, Anya lurched off the table and gripped Abby by the throat pressing her roughly against the far wall, bringing the knife firmly to her throat in the process. "If you scream I'll kill you. And it seems to me you'll go to great measures to protect your ass."

Abby breathed heavily, her whole body trembled. "W-What do you want?"

"I want to know why you were driving my girlfriend's car. I want to know why you dragged her dead body out of it and put her in the driver's seat to burn."

Abby's eyes showed signs of recognition and fear; she took another deep, erratic breath before answering. "You've obviously been talking to Clarke. You need to know my daughter is a drug addict. She's crazy—"

Anya jerked Abby's neck and slammed her back against the wall. "Do _not_ lie to me bitch! Trust me, I _will_ kill you."

"Okay okay!" Abby cried, her hands rising in defense. "I _was_ driving. I'll tell you everything, just put the knife down."

Anya shook her head.

"I'll tell you everything, I promise," she repeated. "But you aren't going to like it, and I need your word I'm going to get out of this room alive."

Anya thought for a moment. What was she doing? Even if she got the truth what if Abby went to the police with the assault? If Anya went to jail, then she'd have ruined her chances of being with Raven again.

"I won't go to the police," Abby said as if reading Anya's thoughts. "After I tell you the whole story you'll understand why. But I need your word you're not going to kill me."

Releasing the doctor and backing off. Anya nodded.

"The best way to take off a band aid is to rip it off quickly. So, I'm just going to blurt it out."

Anya nodded again, bricks filled her chest as she dreaded what was to come next.

"Raven was cheating on you."

Disbelief paralyzed her first, but then Anya blinked and shook her head, tears already welling up. "No, you're lying. There's no way."

"It's true," Abby insisted. "She was having an affair…with me."

Anya couldn't believe what she was hearing. How was she supposed to process this!?

"I know she had dinner plans with you that night. I know she would've been over an hour late to them because she was busy sleeping with me. Afterward, she offered to drive me home after we—"Abby didn't finish that sentence which Anya was grateful. "But she had a headache, so I offered to drive."

"What about the crash?" Anya croaked, her throat tearing apart with emotion. "You just left Raven there to die. You dragged her into the driver's seat. Why?"

"She was already dead," now Abby's voice was cracking. "I couldn't be labeled at the scene. I was a doctor sleeping with her patient. I would've lost my license. That's why I dragged Raven behind the wheel. I needed the investigation to stop at the incident."

"Your daughter was in the other car! How could you leave Clarke behind? She could've died!" Anya was surprised the sympathy she was feeling for Clarke.

"I didn't know!" Abby wailed. "I had no idea the other driver was Clarke, otherwise, of course I would have helped my daughter. What were the chances of Clarke being in the other car!?"

Anya smiled a maniacal smile and gripped the knife harder. "So, Raven just wasn't worth it, huh? She was already dead, so you just decided, why not have her take the blame too!?"

Abby threw her hands up in surrender as Anya neared her with the blade.

"Please Anya. I am begging you. If I could go back and do things again, I would. I swear."

Suddenly, Anya fell to her knees and let the tears fall. She didn't know what threatening Abby would accomplish anymore. She got the truth, got her story. Now she knew everything. The night Anya planned to propose, Raven was in some doctor's office sucking off Dr. Griffin.

Anya rose unsteadily to her feet and turned to leave. "One thing… how long?"

"How long… were we together?"

Anya nodded.

"About three years."


	16. Chapter 16

Anya drove past her house and straight to the beach after her conversation with Abby Griffin.

Dark clouds gathered overhead, the wind lightly whistling and seagulls squawking in the distance. The overall bleak theme suited Anya's mood perfectly.

She sat on a washed up log and stared at the ocean for hours as the fading sun curved into night.

Abby had gone on to explain she and Raven met during a fit test at Ark University. It was some sort of physical requirement to being accepted into the space engineer program.

It turned out Raven had a heart murmur that flagged her application. Luckily for Raven, the doctor assigned to giving the physical happened to be into women and extremely attracted to the mechanic.

What started out as a business transaction turned into something more with each physical assessment needed. Abby had complied and forwarded the necessary paperwork for Raven's clearance into the program as long as Raven kept fucking Dr. Griffin when summoned.

The thing was, feelings bloomed during the transactions apparently and turned into casual encounters. It had lasted the entire duration of Raven's and Anya's relationship though.

Tears escaped honeyed-hazels as the stab of betrayal twisted tighter in her chest. She felt such a fool. Three years Raven had cheated. Three years and Anya hadn't a clue. She'd thought they'd been so happy. Thought Raven was all for her and only hers.

"Hey," came a familiar voice.

Anya turned to find Clarke standing behind her, hands in pockets and shifting awkwardly on her feet. The circles under her eyes suggested the woman had yet another sleepless night.

"Can I sit with you?"

After a long sigh, Anya nodded. "How'd you find me?"

Clarke shrugged. "Went to your house to check on you but your car wasn't in the driveway. So, I figured you went somewhere to be alone. Beach isn't far from your house; that's where I'd go. Guess I got lucky."

Anya offered a sad smile and patted the empty space on the log beside her.

"So… you freaked my mom right out. A knife, I'm impressed. Being a writer, I thought you'd threaten her with a sharp number two pencil or something."

Anya chuckled. More tears streamed. She was still hurt but at that moment was grateful Clarke was there.

"Did you know?" Anya asked suddenly. "Did you know about your mom and Raven?"

Clarke shook her head. "Not for sure. Not before today, anyway. That was one of my theories when I tried to think why she would be in the car with her. Or maybe she was supplying Raven with drugs?"

Anya furrowed her brows. "Why did you keep quiet all this time? Why didn't you tell the police what you saw that night?"

Clarke looked away, seemingly ashamed. "I was a junkie, Anya. I saw an opportunity for blackmail. Drugs aren't cheap, and my mom was a doctor who could get anything I wanted. We've never had the best relationship, and I'm kind of a terrible human being."

A tear slipped down Clarke's too pale cheek just then, glistening in the moonlight. Anya sighed and leaned close to wipe them away with her finger.

"You are not a terrible human being," Anya whispered. "You've just made mistakes."

Anya cast her gaze back to the water. Unsure how to move forward after the events of the day.

"What are you going to do about Raven?" Clarke asked cautiously.

Anya shrugged. "I honestly have no idea. You know, all this time I've been writing a book about everything that's happened? It was going to be how I told Raven about our life together. But now… after learning everything I've learned today. I'm not sure what to do."

"Don't include the cheating," Clarke insisted, causing Anya to fix her gaze on the younger blonde again. "I mean it. Keep writing, but leave out the affair. Since Raven has no memory, you both have a clean slate. No one gets this kind of deal, Anya. Don't waste this."

Anya shook her head and crossed her arms. "She's still that person that did those things. How can I trust her?"

"Do you love Raven?" Clarke asked seriously. "Knowing everything she did to you. All the lies and deception. Do you still love her?"

With tear filled orbs, Anya looked at Clarke and nodded.

"Then be with her."

Anya was still hesitant. "I don't know I'll survive if it happens again."

"That's the risk you take with people. And you know what? You have a second chance with Raven. I don't know how, but you do. And that amazing person making your house a home right now that tries so desperately hard to learn how to cook for you, doesn't seem like the cheating type to me. She has no idea what she did, Anya. Maybe you could give _her_ a second chance?


	17. Chapter 17

"There you are! Anya, I've been worried sick! I've left you like a hundred messages. And— oh!" Raven stopped somewhere on the beach behind them. Clarke and Anya still sat huddled on the log gazing over the ocean together in comfortable silence.

"Look, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Anya, your deadline is in a week. You're gonna have to bust your ass every day now."

Raven stood arms crossed, lips pursed as chocolate swirls glared daggers at the back of Clarke's head. And was that jealousy Anya detected in her tone?

Anya turned to Clarke and smiled before rising to her feet and stretching out. Her body ached, but she needed that time at the beach. Clarke had helped her tremendously. She didn't know what she would've done without the former junkie's wisdom that day.

"Don't worry, Raven. I'll finish it, I promise." Anya shot Clarke a wink before heading back toward the car.

"Need a ride home, Clarke?" Raven asked as she got in the passenger side.

Clarke nodded with a half-smile before crawling in the back seat.

OoOoO

"You want a hot chocolate or something?" Raven asked.

Anya stared at Raven a long moment with new eyes as they entered the house. Just _stared_ at her.

Although everything was different, everything was the same. Anya's feelings hadn't changed despite the ache of betrayal in her heart. That spark of innocence remained in Raven's gorgeous orbs but still did not negate the truth of past Raven's actions.

This was still the same person, not the same human, but the same person. Suddenly overcome with a plague of conflicting thoughts, Anya shook her head in a failed attempt to clear her mind.

"I think I'm just going to take a shower and go to bed," Anya finally responded.

"Oh… okay. Meet you in the bedroom then, babe."

It was the first time since Raven's return that Anya had left the brunette's presence without placing a heartfelt kiss to those smooth lips she so consistently craved.

She couldn't be sure but could swear she felt Raven's unnerving gaze burning into her back as she ascended the staircase.

The hot water felt good as Anya dipped her head beneath the faucet. She didn't realize just how cold she was until the steady stream of the shower rain warmed her skin again. She'd been numb to the cold at the beach earlier with the stresses of the day.

Her body still ached as did her heart. She loved Raven, but the three years of cheating would be hard to brush away.

Anya's first instinct was to find Raven and hold her close for comfort. Instead, she gripped the shower wall and leaned her forehead against the back of an arm, closing her eyes as she stood motionless beneath the steady stream of warm liquid.

When she opened her eyes again, she thought she heard movement in the bathroom. A ghost of a smile pulled at her lips as she guessed it to be Raven. The woman had few boundaries. She shared underwear with Anya for goodness sake.

"Hey," said a familiar head popping from behind the shower curtain. "Want some company?"

Surprising herself, Anya nodded and pulled the brunette in for a tight embrace, acting as though she hadn't seen the other girl in years. She melted into Raven's arms, inhaled her metallic scent of pine and buried her face into that luscious neck as Anya finally let the tears fall.

It was a rare sight to see Anya cry. She was certain Raven's expression would be a shocked one if she turned to look, but the brunette said nothing. Just stood there holding Anya in the shower, somehow knowing that was exactly what the blonde needed.

When the embrace finally ended, and Anya could control herself again, she placed a gentle peck to Raven's cheek before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower.

Once both women were wrapped in towels, Raven turned to Anya. "You okay?"

Anya cast her gaze to the floor but nodded.

Raven shook her head sadly. "No, you're not. But that's alright. You can tell me in time." She closed the distance between them, wrapping her thin caramel arms around Anya's neck before whispering, "I'm not going anywhere."

Anya smiled a tight-lipped smile as she leaned forward and kissed Raven again, on the lips this time. The kiss turned fervent, needy, lusty even. Anya would never be able help how her body reacted to Raven's touch. She was hopelessly devoted to this intoxicating woman and forever would be.

"I have a confession to make," Raven husked when the long, sensuous kiss finally ended.

Anya met Raven's eyes with worry as her chest grew hollow and she prepared for the worst.

"I was jealous."

Anya cocked her head and lifted a brow. What reason did Raven possibly have for being jealous?

"Seeing you with Clarke, alone at the beach…" Raven slowly unwrapped the towel around her body as she spoke. "It was like my blood caught on fire when I saw you sitting so close to her. Being alone with her. I hated that she made you smile when you looked so sad."

Anya shook her head. "You have nothing to worry about, Raven. You're the one I want."

Raven dropped the towel without breaking eye contact. "I know. But I still need to make sure you know who you belong to."

Anya visibly swallowed as Raven pushed her aggressively back against the bathroom counter, ripping the blonde's towel away in the process.

She wrapped her arms around Raven as the brunette sucked a mark of ownership into Anya's neck. Smiling into the possessive behavior, Anya's pain started to ease with every bite, lick, and kiss.

Maybe everything was going to be alright after all.


	18. Chapter 18

_One week later. Deadline Day_.

Anya sat proudly behind her computer desk as her girlfriend Raven straddled her lap, placing a string of lavish kisses across the blonde's face and neck.

"I'm so proud of you, baby!"

Anya smiled as Raven's hand slipped beneath her shirt and rolled her breast in the best way.

"Still can't believe I managed to finish on time. It's all thanks to you, Raven."

The brunette pulled away and gazed lovingly into Anya's eyes as she so often did. "You're brilliant. And you didn't need me."

Anya begged to differ, but she didn't want to argue right then. She wanted to make love.

Picking Raven up beneath the thighs, Anya set her on the desk before quickly going for Raven's pant's zipper. The brunette let out a squeak as Anya pulled the jeans down in one swift motion, panties following.

"Come here," Anya whispered as she slipped three fingers into her partner and set a rapid pace Raven could ride.

Raven writhed in pure ecstasy beneath Anya's ministrations. Over and over again the brunette let out a string of moans and expletives as she neared the edge.

At the last second, just before Raven could come, Anya withdrew her fingers and sunk to her knees. Sucking Raven in between hot, wanting lips and flicking her tongue without mercy.

Raven had lasted just a few mere seconds before a fresh flood leaked down Anya's chin. The blonde happily licked up every drop.

OoOoO

Anya closed the front door and smiled at the sweet aroma wafting in from the kitchen. It smelled like Thanksgiving dinner which could only mean one thing, Raven ordered out.

Raven poked her head from around the corner of the kitchen just as Anya placed her jacket on the coat rack.

"Hey, babe. Everything go okay with the publisher?"

Anya nodded. "It did... They were thrilled to get the first draft on time and quite intrigued. They're going to keep me on as a client."

With the wildest grin, Raven came shooting down the hall and leapt into Anya's arms, placing a sloppy kiss on the blonde's lips.

"I'm so fucking proud of you," she whispered fiercely. "Are you hungry? Dinner's ready. Unless you want dessert first," she added with a salacious wink.

Anya chuckled as she suspected Raven probably took the food out of their containers and put it in normal dishes again for disguise.

"Yes, but first, I want to give you something."

Raven lifted a curious brow as Anya put her down then headed for her office, returning a moment later with a hefty stack of papers and giving them to Raven.

"What's this?" Raven asked looking at the stack with utmost curiosity.

"It's a second copy of my book. I wrote this specifically for you, Raven. It's important to keep that in mind when you read it."

"How My Girlfriend Died and Became My Muse," Raven read aloud. "Interesting title. I'll start reading after dinner. Thanks, babe, I can't wait to see the fruits of my labors these past few weeks."

Anya laughed again. "Right, _your_ labors."

OoOoO

Anya lay on the couch as she watched some show on Netflix about women in prison. She recognized the chef as a captain from a past star trek show.

Raven hung out upstairs in the bedroom while she read Anya's story. She was anxious beyond measure to know how the brunette would react but grateful it was finally happening.

A few hours later, Anya started to doze off. Just before she slipped into the sweet remnants of sleep, a weight came crashing down on top of her.

Eyes flying open, Anya was met with one grinning and very excited Raven. As the brunette continued to crush Anya from above, she started stripping her clothes at an alarming rate.

Anya was confused. "Heeey, Raven. Feeling okay?"

There was a wild look in the brunette's eye; her pupils were fully blown, beads of sweat stuck to her brow, the need in her gaze was almost animalistic. "I just finished reading a particularly steamy chapter where Anya and Raven made love for the first time."

Raven crushed her lips to Anya's before speaking again. The blonde couldn't help but chortle at Raven's enthusiasm.

"By the way, it's a little odd you used your own name for the main character, but with the other heroine being named Raven I have to say I'm totally digging it. Now…" Raven shimmied out of her panties before grabbing Anya's hand and stuffing it between her legs. "Show me exactly how that scene played out again, please? I want to feel what story-Raven felt, baby."

OoOoO

Later that night, Anya found Raven sitting on the bench outside on the patio. She was still reading the draft. The porch light was dim, giving off just a faded glow but Raven didn't seem to mind.

With a deep breath, Anya stepped outside and sat beside Raven who looked up with tear stained eyes.

"Raven? What is it."

"I just read about the crash."

Raven was silent a long moment. Anya's heart pounded as she nearly died to know what Raven was thinking. Was this the moment Anya had been waiting for? Had Raven figured out the book was about her yet? About _them_?

"Anya…"

"Ask me anything," Anya said quickly.

But Raven didn't ask. Instead, she rose to her feet and bolted for the house without looking back.

Anya let out a long sigh. Raven was getting close to the truth. Soon, she would come to believe it. Anya was sure.

She just had to wait a little longer.


	19. Chapter 19

**Raven's POV**

Raven wiped her eyes again as she set down the book Anya had written. After the car crash and the death of Raven Reyes, the story had become more and more familiar.

Anya had fallen distraught and broken and dead to the world in her grief. Falling apart at every turn until one day, Muse Raven showed up out of the blue on the writer's doorstep.

After that, everything to have happened in the story was a perfect recollection of her time with Anya.

Before meeting the woman, Raven knew only a few things. That Anya had lost a lover and was devastated by the tragedy. And that she was an artist in need of a Muse.

Raven couldn't tell how much of the book was fact or fiction. Surely Anya was just an exceptionally gifted author, but some of those events hit so close to home. The title in itself brought the whole work into question.

There was no way Raven was the same as the Raven Reyes in the story. She had to be fictional. The woman in the book was an apprentice space mechanic. Raven didn't know the first thing about the field.

The brunette tried to think back to her earliest memory but came up blank. She knew she wasn't human. Her world worked differently. Information was just available. As if _placed_ in your head.

Before Anya, Raven could only remember one person. Someone important who gave the orders and assigned the tasks.

Raven shook her head. She was being ridiculous. There was no way Raven died, lost her memory, and was reincarnated into a Muse. That was just the craziest concept ever.

 _I'll just investigate. That'll put my mind at ease_.

Raven reached for the drawer in the coffee table near the couch. She pulled out the black velvet ring box she'd found when cleaning the living room one day and returned to her favorite chair in the center of the room.

Flicking the box open, she gazed at the ring a long moment before taking it out and slipping it on her fourth finger. _Perfect fit_.

Shaking her head, Raven quickly put the ring back and returned it to the drawer. Lots of people had the same size fingers. So what if Raven was the same size as Anya's ex, whoever that may have been.

She had assumed all through the novel Anya had used Raven's name in place of whoever her ex-girlfriend was.

Raven glanced at the clock, it was just after midnight. Anya would surely be asleep.

Drumming her fingers on the armrest, Raven's heart pounded as she had an idea. Quickly she crept down the hall toward Anya's office.

She'd figure this out once and for all. She just needed to see a photo of Anya and her past lover. Then everything would be much clearer.

Raven flicked on the light and closed the door as silently as she could before starting her snoop fest around the room.

She came up blank. No pictures, as if the room had been packed up of all kinds of things.

Raven plopped in the desk chair and thought another moment before her eyes fell to the laptop. Checking that the door to the office was still closed, Raven flipped the lid open and hit the power button. While she was waiting for the device to reboot, she looked to the drawers.

 _Oh, drawers. Duh. Where else would you keep stuff?_

Opening each one, she rummaged through a mess of pens, calculators and other miscellaneous items until finally reaching the lower file drawer and saw a folder with a dark stamp reading: _CLASSIFIED_.

Curiosity getting the better of her, Raven reached for the thick folder and opened it, her eyes growing wide as she skimmed the first page.

 _Victim: Raven Reyes_

 _Time of Death: Approx 8:37 pm October 19_ _th_ _._

 _Report: Wounds severe… Death following mechanical engine rupture…_

Raven's eyes watered as she sifted through the other pages, it looked like a police report. A perfect document recording the events of the crash. At the back of the folder was a picture of a girl that made Raven cry out in panic.

She recognized the blonde in the photo immediately. The woman she'd invited into the house weeks prior. The woman she'd made Anya sleep with. Giving her an impossible deal to say no to. At that point, Raven had already fallen in love with Anya.

As Muse, one of her duties was to find artists what they needed before she left. Whether it was a hobby, or in Anya's case, a lover.

Anya and Clarke had butted heads the entire night. Raven forced the relationship knowing Anya would never fall in love with Clarke in time if ever. Thus, sealing her own happiness.

Raven's gaze fell to the bottom of Clarke's photo. The document was labeled _driver_.

Raven dropped the stack of papers in her hand, sending them flying all over the floor. She covered her mouth as she gasped in shock, feeling sick to her stomach.

It was Clarke who killed Raven Reyes. Clarke who killed _her_. And Raven had made Anya sleep with the murderer.

The worst realization was that Anya had to know who Clarke was. Which meant the blonde had screwed Raven's killer just so they could be together forever.

The laptop made a sound indicating it was fully powered, offering a moment of distraction. Raven turned her gaze to the monitor only to burst out in tears. There on the screen was the undeniable proof Raven was looking for, but not the answer she was seeking.

There on Anya's desktop background was Raven with her arms laced around Anya's neck, kissing her on the cheek while still looking at the camera. They looked so sickeningly happy.

Proving Raven and the Raven Reyes from Anya's story, were one in the same.


	20. Chapter 20

Anya began to worry as she noticed Raven starting to avoid her more and more over the next few days.

One morning Anya woke to Raven returning the draft and saying she needed some space. She'd placed a kiss to Anya's cheek and moved into the spare room down the hall without another word.

That was over a week ago.

Anya knocked on the door to Raven's room. She thought she heard crying.

"Raven? Please let me in. I need to see you. We should talk."

No answer. Just more crying.

Just before Anya turned away, the door opened to reveal a grief-stricken, Raven. Her eyes held dark circles beneath them, her lids swollen from the tears.

"Just tell me if it's true," Raven ordered.

Anya nodded. "Every word."

Except for the words she deliberately left out, of course. Like the cheating and Abby's role in the whole event.

Raven crossed her arms and cast her gaze to the floor and sniffled. "So, you're saying… you and I…. for three years… Before I showed up here a month ago?"

Again, Anya nodded.

Raven let out a long breath before rubbing her temples. "This actually explains so much."

Anya raised a curious brow.

"Like how you knew my name the day I arrived before I even told you," Raven answered. "Or how you knew what I wanted at that diner. Just, a lot of little things like that. Not to mention you seem to be more familiar with my body than I am."

Both women chuckled at that.

"This is just… a lot to process, Anya."

"Will you still stay with me?" Anya asked hopefully.

Raven sucked her lips back over her teeth, she seemed deep in thought before finally she nodded and shot Anya a pained and watery smile.

With a breath of relief, Anya rushed forward, enveloping Raven in the tightest of hugs.

"I love you," Anya breathed. Ecstatic to finally say it again.

"I love you too, Anya," Raven whispered, her voice cracking. "So damn much."

When they broke apart, Anya crashed their lips together for the longest most passionate kiss of her life.

OoOoO

It took no time at all for Anya and Raven to fall into sync, doing all the things regular couples do.

Anya took over cooking duty for which both women were grateful. They'd go out to the movies, catching Raven up on everything she'd missed the last seven months.

Romantic restaurants (not Polis) and long walks in the park (which included some intense make-out sessions).

Three weeks after the deadline, Raven wanted to go camping. So, they packed up the car and drove to the lake. Anya knew a private spot where they could pitch their tent. They had found it during their college years.

They made love by night, swam naked together by day, and gazed into the campfire glow as they waited for day to curve to night again.

Raven's intense moaning would echo through the mountains as Anya made love to her over and over again.

Life was bliss.

OoOoO

"Why don't you drop me off at home, babe? I'll put away all the tent equipment, and you go to the store for some groceries?"

Anya smiled at the mention of home. _Their home_.

Agreeing, Anya helped unload all the camp gear before heading to the store.

When she returned, the house was eerily silent. Anya had a sinking feeling in her gut; panicking, she dropped the groceries in the foyer as she called out Raven's name.

No answer.

Then, she heard shuffling upstairs.

Bolting up the stairs and racing to the bedroom, Anya found Raven with one of Anya's suitcases, filling it with Anya's clothes.

"Uhhh, Raven? Are we going on another trip?"

Anya's heart broke when Raven looked up. Tears streamed steadily down smooth caramel cheeks.

"I have to leave," Raven announced, her voice cracking.

Anya's eyes widened. "What!? Raven, no! You aren't going anywhere. You promised you would stay. You love me. I know you do."

Anya panicked and wrapped Raven in a tight embrace. Raven cried into the blonde's shoulder a long moment before pulling away and returning to packing Anya's things in the suitcase.

"Apparently, it wasn't my choice to make," Raven sobbed. "It's weeks after your deadline. She doesn't understand why I haven't left yet."

Anya lifted a confused brow and shook her head. "Who doesn't understand? What are you talking about?"

Raven stopped packing and faced Anya, her face grew serious. "The Commander of Reassignment is in the kitchen downstairs. She's the one who sent me to you and she's the one who's taking me back."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Anya said with finality as she stormed downstairs past the fallen groceries and into the kitchen where stood a brunette Anya had never seen before.

She wore face paint around her eyes, her hair tied back and was clad head to toe in leather armor. She looked like an amazon warrior fresh off a Hollywood movie set. The gorgeous stranger stood hands clasped behind her back as she looked down her nose at Anya, holding an air of authority about her.

Anya's blood boiled just at the thought of this woman taking Raven away. "I don't know who you are but Raven stays with me."

The mysterious woman drew her brows and fixed Anya with a studious gaze, dark green eyes showing confusion.

"I am Commander Lexa. I govern all those who are like Raven."

"Great, she still stays here," Anya said forcefully.

Lexa slowly shook her head. "The cycle _must_ resume."

Anya shook her head. "What cycle? What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Reincarnation. We live. We die. Then are reassigned. All humans must go through the process eventually. But there are a select few, like Raven, who become more."

"Like a Muse," Anya breathed.

Lexa nodded. "Yes. Muses are sent to struggling artists like you. Their task is to fulfill the client's need that isn't being met, whether it be finding them a new hobby, a project, or in your case, a lover."

"I love _Raven_!"

Lexa shook her head. "She was not meant for love. You were meant to fall for Clarke Griffin. I understand Raven sabotaged the outcome. There are rules that must be followed."

Tears welled in Anya's eyes, but she held them back. "You can't take her. I will do anything to keep her here with me."

Lexa's brows drew ever closer, she took a step forward toward Anya as if looking at the most curious specimen on the planet. "Anything? Are you certain, Anya? If _you_ want me to break the cycle, then I will. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. But this will be the last courtesy I can extend you in this world. I've already done too much."

Anya blinked several times as she processed that. That didn't make any sense. "W-what? What are you talking about?"

Lexa walked away, speaking as she did so until turning around again. "Raven died and returned without her memory of your relationship. Would it be so hard to believe the same had happened to you at one point? Is it so hard to fathom I might have known you in a past life? Perhaps even loved you?"

Anya's mouth hung open. The statement too incredulous to respond to. After a moment, Anya asked, "Is it you that returned Raven to me?"

Now Lexa's eyes turned sad, loving even, as she slowly nodded. "Raven can stay, but not as a Muse. I will have to breathe humanity back into her. She will be mortal and vulnerable like you again."

Anya nodded frantically. "Yes, as long as it's okay with Raven. That's what I want."

"It's okay with me," Raven chimed in from the kitchen doorway.

How long had she been there?

With a nod, Lexa crossed the kitchen to Raven. "You still have to come with me to make the change. You can return in a few days, but we must leave now. You understand the risks of being human again?"

Raven nodded. "As long as Anya and I can be together I'll accept them all."

Lexa nodded before leaving the room without another word. Anya couldn't help but feel the commander intentionally avoided further eye contact with her.

"Okay, just a few days and we'll be together again," Raven said, her voice shaking.

"I love you," Anya whispered before pressing a deep, gentle kiss to Raven's lips. "I love you so damn much, Raven."

Raven visibly swallowed before responding. "I love you too, baby. I'll see you soon."

With that, Anya watched Raven walk out of her life. She just hoped nothing would go wrong this time.


	21. Chapter 21

Two weeks later Anya found herself in another drunken stupor.

 _A few days_ , was what Lexa had said. And there Anya was, drunk and desolate on the living room couch two weeks later still waiting.

She let the tears flow and downed the booze as she waited every day for Raven's return. Beginning to wonder if it was all a ruse to take Raven away for good.

Had the commander lied just to get what she wanted? And what did Lexa know that Anya didn't? She'd made it sound like Anya couldn't remember a past life or something. She didn't care at the moment though.

Only cared about what _she_ knew, and wanted, and loved, which was Raven Reyes. Where the hell was she? How long did it take to breathe humanity back into someone?

Anya passed out on the couch later that day. When she woke again, it was night. The doorbell had brought her out of the deep remnants of sleep.

Beer bottles rolling off her chest, she hurried to open the door. It was the fastest Anya had moved in fourteen days.

Once again, there on Anya's door step stood Raven Reyes in the flesh.

"Raven," Anya croaked in disbelief.

Raven shifted nervously on her feet. She wasn't quite meeting Anya's gaze, her thumbs in the front pockets of her jeans.

"H-hey," came Raven's timid voice.

"Rae? What's wrong? Come inside," Anya offered standing back as she opened the door.

Raven stepped inside cautiously, looking around as if seeing everything for the first time.

"So…" Raven started after Anya closed the door. "I'm human again."

Anya smiled, tears in her eyes as she pulled Raven in for a tight hug. The brunette's arms were slow to react and return the gesture, but once they did, she fell into Anya as if savouring the moment.

When the embrace ended, Anya kept her arms around Raven's waist. "Are you okay?"

Raven still wasn't quite meeting her gaze. Something was wrong. When chocolate swirls finally did meet hazels, they glistened with unshed tears.

"I-I remember everything, Anya."

Anya nodded. She didn't quite understand. "I'm glad. Making you fall in love with me a third time would not have been ideal. Although I guess I could've just written a sequel."

Raven laughed nervously, a sound Anya had desperately missed. "You don't understand. I remember _everything_. Everything before the accident, and after. I know exactly what you left out of your book."

And just like that, the clean slate to have been established for their relationship was over. Raven's returned memories meant she'd remembered the betrayal of three years. It meant the Raven in Anya's arms was a cheater.

Tears fell from Raven's eyes as Anya backed away unblinkingly.

"There's something I have to tell you," Raven cried. "But something tells me you already know."

Anya shook her head, her own eyes stinging with tears. She'd had enough! After all the pain of losing Raven and getting her back and losing her again, Anya couldn't take it anymore.

She took Raven's hands in hers again and looked her in the eye. "I don't care, Raven," she said firmly, conviction in her voice. "We've been through too much. I love you, and I forgive you."

Raven started crying harder. "I'm so sorry."

Anya pressed a kiss to the brunette's forehead. "Promise me I can trust you from here on out and I will never doubt you."

Raven looked at Anya through tear-stained eyes. "I promise. I love you so much, Anya."

OoOoO

 _One month later_

"Hey babe, new episode of Orange is on. Watch it with me?"

Anya halted her typing to look up at Raven from her computer chair. "Yeah, just let me finish this paragraph, Raven."

Raven wandered over nonchalantly as she waited for Anya. The brunette leaned back on the desk and picked up a certain classified file with a smirk.

"Nothing like reading about your own death."

Anya sighed. "I wish you'd stop looking at that thing. It's morbid."

Raven laughed. "Makes me all the more grateful to have a _third_ chance with you."

Anya shot Raven a tight-lipped smile and a wink before turning back to her laptop.

Raven frowned when she flipped to the back of the folder. Anya could guess what she was looking at.

"I swear I'm going to burn that photo," Anya insisted.

"I'm so sorry, Anya," Raven said seriously. "I made you sleep with the driver who killed me. And you actually did it."

Anya stopped typing and closed the laptop, no longer caring about the paragraph she had been agonizing over for the last two hours.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do to have kept you by my side forever, Raven."

Raven offered a sad smile before leaning down to press their lips together. "Whatever happened to Clarke?"

"Back in rehab. I guess she relapsed after her mom was arrested."

Raven's eyes widened. "Abby was arrested?"

It was still weird to talk openly about the doctor, but Anya wanted no barriers between them. "Yeah, she got caught for supplying her daughter with narcotics."

"Wait… how long had Abby…"

"She didn't start supplying Clarke until after the accident," Anya assured.

Had Abby supplied Clarke with drugs _before_ the car crash, the whole thing would have been horribly poetic, an intense declaration of karma at work.

"Alright, I'm done with writing for the day. What do you say we fire up Netflix and order out tonight?"

Raven beamed. "Sounds perfect."

Indeed, it did.

Anya couldn't have been happier with the way things turned out. She had the love of her life again. Her third chance.

Before following Raven out of the room. Anya grabbed the black ring box from her desk drawer and hid it behind her back. With another tight-lipped smile, she hurried after Raven.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **So, this is the first fic I've ever finished. That was the first ending I've ever written. I hope it was okay. Thank you to everyone who followed along and commented or favorited along the way!**

 **If anyone is interested, I'm part of a group on Facebook called _Rainbow Writers_. If that sounds like your thing, don't hesitate to head over to my profile and see what we're all about. (You don't _have_ to be a writer) I'd love to talk to you!**

 **Lastly, if you find yourself in need of another Ranya fic, I've recently posted a new story called, _Sidetracked_. Raven's a petri dish baby, and Anya's a werewolf. ;) **


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